Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. MHD is quite the hideous team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by HVC. hideous. That word does not even begin to describe the game I saw today. Despite the ambient weather, I found myself looking upon the cold, dark, windswept gridiron of my soul, agonizing for three gut-wrenching hours as my eyes were forced to witness the utter lack of skill exhibited by MHD on this particular day. By the end of the opening kickoff, I could already feel the nausea, the lurching in my stomach. By the end of the first quarter, I began to contemplate gnawing off my own leg to escape. My tears flowed as freely as the cheap beer consumed by the semi-sentients surrounding me, not for the defeated, but for the death of all that I thought was good and pure about football. Rex Grossman gurgled, "Whoa... we got our backends handed to us today and that's for sure. Coach is steering us toward a high draft pick and a wasted season. I can only hope that he trades me to someone capable of winning before my career ends." Damien Woody quipped, "Word up... I ain't showed nothin' today 'cuz dey wuz cheating. No, I ain't sayin' dat... les jus say dat if the refs had any guts, dey woulda been throwin' their little yellow hankies all over 'round me. Da way I was disrespected out there was sick, dude." HVC has repelled MHD as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match, crushing them by the tune of 36-15 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. HVC leads the all-time series 9-7 against MHD. HVC has a 5-7 regular season record. MHD has a 3-9 regular season record. They looked unstoppable on the HVC squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 306 points, 199 on offense and 107 on defense. Rudi Johnson with 32 points on offense and DeAngelo Hall with 19 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM Joe Rupp, "I took exception to our execution on a few plays.. For one, Dexter Jackson was as sharp as a sponge today. I've been working with Doc on a revolutionary new procedure... I won't go into the full details right now, but let's just say that he won't have an any excuse for dropping the damned ball anymore. As for those DST? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with absolutely nothing over the course of the contest. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Na'il Diggs. There's no love lost between these two clubs. Joe Rupp stated, "He and his lecherous team of cub scouts have all the football grace of a French eunuch trying to ride a bull suffering from mad cow's disease while reciting the Gettysburg Address." In response, the MHD coach groaned, "Who? Do they even play professional football?" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||