| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Steel Curtain | 184 | 150 | 334 | 7 | | Home | Southside Salamanders | 237 | 171 | 408 | 44 |
| Southside Salamanders |
Steel Curtain |
|---|
| S | Aaron Rodgers QB GB | 0 |
| S | Brett Favre QB GB | 36 |
| I | David Carr QB HOU | 0 |
| I | Quinton Porter QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Sage Rosenfels QB HOU | 0 |
| S | Ingle Martin QB GB | 0 |
| I | John Wade OC TB | 0 |
| S | Scott Wells OC/OG GB | 8 |
| I | Bennie Anderson OG MIA | 0 |
| S | Mike Goff OG LAC | 19 |
| S | Todd Weiner OT ATL | 13 |
| I | Kwame Harris OT SF | 0 |
| S | Tra Thomas OT PHI | 10 |
| S | Jake Scott OG IND | 10 |
| B | Jason McKie FB CHI | 3 |
| S | Frank Gore RB SF | 19 |
| I | Jerome Harrison RB CLE | 0 |
| B | Ahman Green RB GB | 4 |
| B | Greg Jennings WR GB | 6 |
| I | Mark Bradley WR CHI | 0 |
| B | Reggie Brown WR PHI | 2 |
| S | Reggie Wayne WR IND | 23 |
| B | Courtney Anderson TE LV | 3 |
| S | Desmond Clark TE CHI | 28 |
| S | Chris Cooley TE WAS | 8 |
| S | Kellen Winslow TE CLE | 17 |
| B | Joe Klopfenstein TE LAR | 3 |
| I | Casey Fitzsimmons TE DET | 0 |
| B | Owen Daniels TE HOU | 6 |
| S | Rian Lindell K BUF | 11 |
| I | Matt Bryant K TB | 0 |
| S | Detroit OST DET | 4 |
| B | Greg Ellis DE DAL | 4 |
| S | Dwight Freeney DE IND | 2 |
| S | Kelly Gregg NT BAL | 17 |
| S | Lance Briggs OLB CHI | 8 |
| S | Keith Bulluck OLB TEN | 13 |
| B | Ryan Nece OLB TB | 4 |
| B | Scott Shanle ILB NO | 6 |
| I | Chad Greenway OLB ??? | 0 |
| B | Daryl Smith OLB JAC | 3 |
| B | Manny Lawson OLB SF | 6 |
| S | Andra Davis ILB CLE | 10 |
| S | Larry Foote ILB PIT | 9 |
| I | Barry Gardner ILB ??? | 0 |
| B | D.J. Williams OLB DEN | 1 |
| I | Donnie Spragan OLB MIA | 0 |
| I | Brady Poppinga LB GB | 0 |
| B | Corey Webster CB NYG | 4 |
| B | Kelly Herndon CB SEA | 7 |
| S | Alex Brown DE CHI | 8 |
| S | Rashean Mathis CB JAC | 20 |
| S | Sheldon Brown CB PHI | 4 |
| B | Sean Jones S CLE | 6 |
| I | Daniel Bullocks S DET | 0 |
| S | Stuart Schweigert S LV | 9 |
| B | Mike McKenzie CB NO | 3 |
| B | C.C. Brown S HOU | 5 |
| I | Jason Allen DB MIA | 0 |
| S | Nick Collins S GB | 11 |
| I | Derrick Frost P WAS | 0 |
| S | Craig Hentrich P TEN | 3 |
| S | Cincinnati DST CIN | 8 |
|
| S | Eli Manning QB NYG | 42 |
| S | Jared Lorenzen QB NYG | 0 |
| S | Tim Hasselbeck QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Kellen Clemens QB NYJ | 0 |
| I | Chad Pennington QB NYJ | 0 |
| I | Patrick Ramsey QB NYJ | 0 |
| S | Jeff Faine OC NO | 5 |
| I | LeCharles Bentley OC ??? | 0 |
| I | Nick Mangold OC NYJ | 0 |
| S | Alan Faneca OG PIT | 5 |
| S | Evan Mathis OG CAR | 0 |
| I | Chris Snee OG NYG | 0 |
| I | Milford Brown OG ARI | 0 |
| I | Levi Jones OT CIN | 0 |
| S | Khalif Barnes OT JAC | 10 |
| I | Michael Roos OT TEN | 0 |
| S | Jon Runyan OT PHI | 11 |
| B | Kenny Watson RB CIN | 0 |
| S | Ronnie Brown RB MIA | 22 |
| I | Chris Perry RB CIN | 0 |
| B | Dominic Rhodes RB IND | 4 |
| S | Edgerrin James RB ARI | 19 |
| I | Ashley Lelie WR ATL | 0 |
| S | Randy Moss WR LV | 5 |
| S | Laveranues Coles WR NYJ | 25 |
| B | Reggie Williams WR JAC | 5 |
| B | Devery Henderson WR NO | 4 |
| B | Michael Jenkins WR ATL | 2 |
| B | Stephen Alexander TE DEN | 3 |
| B | Daniel Graham TE NE | 4 |
| B | Robert Royal TE BUF | 1 |
| B | Chris Baker TE NYJ | 2 |
| S | Tony Gonzalez TE KC | 10 |
| I | Sebastian Janikowski K LV | 0 |
| S | Mike Nugent K NYJ | 5 |
| S | Pittsburgh OST PIT | 0 |
| S | Darnell Dockett DT ARI | 15 |
| B | Dewayne White DE TB | 5 |
| I | Marcus Stroud DT JAC | 0 |
| S | Gerard Warren DT DEN | 6 |
| S | Aaron Kampman DE GB | 26 |
| B | Jevon Kearse DE PHI | 7 |
| B | Tommy Kelly DT LV | 1 |
| S | Thomas Davis OLB CAR | 4 |
| B | Kendrell Bell MLB KC | 4 |
| S | Nick Barnett MLB GB | 3 |
| S | Terrell Suggs DE BAL | 20 |
| I | Brandon Chillar OLB LAR | 0 |
| B | Brendon Ayanbadejo OLB CHI | 3 |
| S | A.J. Hawk OLB GB | 9 |
| B | Jeremiah Trotter MLB PHI | 6 |
| I | Clark Haggans OLB PIT | 0 |
| B | E.J. Henderson MLB MIN | 3 |
| I | Ashton Youboty CB BUF | 0 |
| S | Patrick Surtain CB KC | 3 |
| S | Samari Rolle CB BAL | 2 |
| B | Lamont Thompson S TEN | 2 |
| S | Sean Taylor S WAS | 9 |
| S | Brian Dawkins S PHI | 13 |
| S | Ben Graham P NYJ | 5 |
| I | Jeff Feagles P NYG | 0 |
| S | Pittsburgh DST PIT | 4 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Chris Snee, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning SC seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Aaron Kampman and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to SC's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on SRS for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir.
And so now it stands that SRS leads the all-time series 15-9 against SC. SRS has a 5-0 regular season record. SC has a 1-4 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw SRS has publically emasculated SC as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match 44-7 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
Things went very well for the SRS squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 408 points, 237 on offense and 171 on defense. Greg Jennings with 25 points on offense and Rashean Mathis with 20 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Allen Cummings, "Sure, I'm a bit concerned about a few things.. For one, Alex Brown played about as well as a frog pithed by an epileptic first-grader. Doc says that he's gotten much better since he's started the electroshock therapy... something about frontal lobes and things with molecular structures. It all sounded very clinical to me, but as long as it keeps him on the field, I'm all for it. As for those OST? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with absolutely nothing instead of playing. Overall though, the Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man in this game was Dwight Freeney. His bad effort yielded a month in the doghouse.
Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Allen Cummings shot, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." In response, the SC coach shot, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." |
