| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Punxsutawney Chucks | 192 | 81 | 273 | 45 | | Home | Rock N Rollers | 152 | 103 | 255 | 36 |
| Rock N Rollers |
Punxsutawney Chucks |
|---|
| I | Brad Johnson QB MIN | 0 |
| I | Tarvaris Jackson QB MIN | 0 |
| S | Gus Frerotte QB LAR | 0 |
| S | Marc Bulger QB LAR | 16 |
| S | Ryan Fitzpatrick QB LAR | 0 |
| I | Brooks Bollinger QB MIN | 0 |
| S | Andre Gurode OC/OG DAL | 10 |
| I | Justin Hartwig OC CAR | 0 |
| I | Jake Grove OC LV | 0 |
| S | Will Shields OG KC | 8 |
| I | Davin Joseph OG TB | 0 |
| I | Vince Manuwai OG JAC | 0 |
| I | Paul McQuistan OT LV | 0 |
| S | Eric Steinbach OG CIN | 11 |
| S | Kevin Shaffer OT CLE | 9 |
| S | Jon Jansen OT WAS | 1 |
| I | Roman Oben OT LAC | 0 |
| I | Moe Williams RB ??? | 0 |
| I | Ryan Moats RB PHI | 0 |
| S | Larry Johnson RB KC | 19 |
| S | Steven Jackson RB LAR | 17 |
| I | Travis Wilson WR CLE | 0 |
| B | Joe Jurevicius WR CLE | 0 |
| S | Bobby Wade WR TEN | 0 |
| S | Marvin Harrison WR IND | 23 |
| B | Demetrius Williams WR BAL | 1 |
| S | Chad Johnson WR CIN | 22 |
| B | Roddy White WR ATL | 0 |
| B | Kevin Curtis WR LAR | 1 |
| I | Jason Elam K DEN | 0 |
| S | Robbie Gould K CHI | 10 |
| S | Chicago OST CHI | 0 |
| S | Patrick Kerney DE ATL | 1 |
| I | Bertrand Berry DE ARI | 0 |
| I | Reggie Hayward DE ??? | 0 |
| I | Robaire Smith DT TEN | 0 |
| S | Rod Coleman DT ATL | 5 |
| S | Kevin Williams DT MIN | 8 |
| B | Corey Williams DT GB | 1 |
| S | Vonnie Holliday DE MIA | 5 |
| B | Coy Wire S BUF | 3 |
| B | Danny Clark MLB NO | 0 |
| S | Morlon Greenwood OLB HOU | 13 |
| B | James Anderson OLB CAR | 0 |
| S | Cato June OLB IND | 8 |
| B | Al Wilson MLB DEN | 3 |
| B | Stephen Tulloch MLB TEN | 0 |
| S | Mike Peterson MLB JAC | 5 |
| B | Reggie Torbor OLB NYG | 1 |
| B | James Darling OLB ARI | 0 |
| S | Gary Baxter CB CLE | 9 |
| S | Charles Tillman CB CHI | 4 |
| B | Drayton Florence CB LAC | 2 |
| B | Andre' Goodman CB MIA | 2 |
| S | Adam Archuleta S WAS | 9 |
| I | Mike Green S SEA | 0 |
| B | Jimmy Williams CB ATL | 2 |
| S | Brodney Pool S CLE | 9 |
| B | Tony Parrish S DAL | 2 |
| B | Jordan Babineaux S SEA | 2 |
| S | Michael Koenen P ATL | 8 |
| I | Todd Sauerbrun P NE | 0 |
| S | Green Bay DST GB | 1 |
|
| S | Trent Dilfer QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Shaun Hill QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Charlie Frye QB CLE | 0 |
| I | Derek Anderson QB CLE | 0 |
| I | Ken Dorsey QB CLE | 0 |
| S | Alex Smith QB SF | 21 |
| S | Rich Braham OC CIN | 9 |
| I | Alex Stepanovich OC ARI | 0 |
| S | Jeno James OG MIA | 1 |
| I | Chris Kemoeatu OG PIT | 0 |
| S | Artis Hicks OG MIN | 4 |
| S | Maurice Williams OT JAC | 8 |
| I | Oliver Ross OT ARI | 0 |
| S | Willie Anderson OT CIN | 11 |
| S | Tiki Barber RB NYG | 23 |
| S | Fred Taylor RB JAC | 19 |
| I | Ron Dayne RB HOU | 0 |
| B | Justin Fargas RB LV | 0 |
| B | Kevan Barlow RB NYJ | 2 |
| B | Anthony Thomas RB BUF | 0 |
| I | J.J. Arrington RB ARI | 0 |
| B | Mike Anderson RB BAL | 3 |
| S | Derrick Mason WR BAL | 11 |
| S | Donald Driver WR GB | 28 |
| B | Samie Parker WR KC | 3 |
| S | Braylon Edwards WR CLE | 17 |
| B | Bryant Johnson WR ARI | 3 |
| B | Peerless Price WR BUF | 1 |
| I | Derek Hagan WR MIA | 0 |
| I | John Hall K WAS | 0 |
| S | Shayne Graham K CIN | 10 |
| I | Washington OST WAS | 0 |
| S | Baltimore OST BAL | 18 |
| S | Michael Strahan DE NYG | 3 |
| I | Darryl Tapp DE SEA | 0 |
| S | Cornelius Griffin DT WAS | 3 |
| S | John Henderson DT JAC | 5 |
| B | Brodrick Bunkley DT PHI | 0 |
| S | Pisa Tinoisamoa OLB LAR | 5 |
| B | Michael Boley OLB ATL | 4 |
| B | Dan Cody OLB BAL | 0 |
| B | Chike Okeafor DE ARI | 2 |
| B | Rocky McIntosh OLB WAS | 1 |
| S | LaVar Arrington OLB NYG | 3 |
| B | Keith Ellison OLB BUF | 2 |
| S | Zach Thomas MLB MIA | 4 |
| I | Dontarrious Thomas LB MIN | 0 |
| I | Odell Thurman MLB ??? | 0 |
| B | Mark Simoneau MLB NO | 1 |
| S | Jason Taylor DE MIA | 4 |
| I | Mario Haggan MLB BUF | 0 |
| S | Nick Harper CB IND | 2 |
| S | Dunta Robinson CB HOU | 4 |
| B | Bryant McFadden CB PIT | 3 |
| B | Keith Davis S DAL | 1 |
| S | Mike Adams S SF | 5 |
| B | Chris Crocker S ATL | 2 |
| S | Chris Hope S TEN | 14 |
| S | Donnie Jones P MIA | 10 |
| S | Houston DST HOU | 3 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Chad Johnson whined, "We know it's going to be a hard-fought game when we play these clowns - tough, physical... It's important to win the physical football games because you put so much into it. We didn't do that today. Every time I looked up, I heard the crowd and I figured it was another turnover. It's tough to lose when you've worked all week. Mentally, you have to let it go." Well no kidding, Einstein. RNR was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Patrick Kerney, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning RNR seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Chad Johnson and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to RNR's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on PC for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir.
So now the series stands PC trails the all-time series 10-14 against RNR. PC has a 2-3 regular season record. RNR has a 1-4 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw PC has repelled RNR like a bloated spider engorging on the tender underbelly of a common house fly 45-36 in front of a despondent home crowd.
They were almost perfect on the PC squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 273 points, 192 on offense and 81 on defense. Alex Smith with 21 points on offense and Michael Boley with 7 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, the most incompetant player of the game goes to Roddy White. I've come up with a
motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..."
Says Roddy White, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal."
Brodrick Bunkley added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated
Valkyrie... Man...
brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.'
"
There's no love lost between these two clubs. Glenn Good grumbled, "Like 'em? No... not really. I'd rather strangle puppies in front of a dozen orphans than pull that wretched owner of theirs out of a burning building." In response, the RNR coach groaned, "Well, there's murderers, rapists, boy bands, and then there's that owner of theirs... Which is worst? Hard to tell sometimes." |
