Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. DH is quite the hideous team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by SRS. OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Vince Wilfork, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning DH seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Adrian Wilson and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to DH's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on SRS for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir. Adrian Wilson shot, "We know it's going to be a hard-fought game when we play these clowns - tough, physical... It's important to win the physical football games because you put so much into it. We didn't do that today. Every time I looked up, I heard the crowd and I figured it was another turnover. It's tough to lose when you've worked all week. Mentally, you have to let it go." Vince Wilfork blathered, "Das why I get paid da big bucks, dawg! Ooh baby I was hot out there! Now if only dey woulda gotten me in on some plays we'da been breakin' scoring records and stuff! Offense, defense... don' matter to numba me... just wish them others around me would understand my value." SRS has beaten DH as though they were horses being sent to the glue factory, crushing them by the tune of 23-22 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. SRS trails the all-time series 6-11 against DH. SRS has a 9-0 regular season record. DH has a 7-2 regular season record. They looked unstoppable on the SRS squad particularly on the defensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 296 points, 164 on offense and 132 on defense. Kellen Winslow with 22 points on offense and Rashean Mathis with 12 points on defense were the top scorers. However, they were far from perfect. Said Coach/GM Allen Cummings, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Jake Scott was as sharp as a sponge today. Doc says that he's gotten much better since he's started the electroshock therapy... something about frontal lobes and things with molecular structures. It all sounded very clinical to me, but as long as it keeps him on the field, I'm all for it. As for those DST? They were utterly incompetent, gaining absolutely nothing throughout the course of their pitiful performance. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Matt Wilhelm. "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Allen Cummings whined, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." In response, the DH coach shot, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||