Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once electrocuted the dog with a toaster. My father, as apoplectic as a TV evangelist being audited by the IRS, told me to retrieve the family shotgun. He then dragged me to the dentist office and came up with at least fourteen uses for said device that I'd never contemplated. That was the day that I lost my left arm. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to DS today are the same. SC has repelled DS as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match, publicly humiliating them by the tune of 46-29 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. SC leads the all-time series 8-6 against DS. SC has a 5-7 regular season record (0-1 in this year's playoffs). DS has a 4-8 regular season record. Steve Smith shot, "Our defense was stout - I mean, golly. Have you ever seen such an effort? I mean, except for those breakdowns that led to all those scores. For at least half of the plays, we were great though. It's something to build on is all I'm getting at." Justin McCareins groaned, "I'm very disappointed in myself, the way I played as one of the 60 leaders on this football team. It starts with me watching someone get the ball into the hands of the right guy and watch him making the plays... cheering on the others making the tackles... I did that. That falls on me. We're not going to win football games if they don't do their part." They looked unstoppable on the SC squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 267 points, 188 on offense and 79 on defense. Daniel Graham with 31 points on offense and Richard Marshall with 17 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Matthew R. Watson, "We have to get a lot better next week.. For one, Brian Dawkins was clearly showing some ill-effects from his intestinal parasite. Doc was tellin' me that he's seen all the telltale signs of... oh, I forget the medical term for it, but basically, he's a screw-up because he just isn't that bright when you get right down to it. Shoulda known when my scouts mentioned that he rode the short bus. As for those DST? They were utterly incompetent, gaining absolutely nothing instead of playing. Overall though, the the most incompetant player in this game was Nick Mangold. His wretched effort yielded a seat alone on the ride home. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Nick Mangold, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal." A.J. Hawk added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated Valkyrie... Man... brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.' " "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Matthew R. Watson considered this when he said, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." In response, the DS coach quipped, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||