Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. MHD is quite the ascetic team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by BB. "You want fries with that?" Yep, we'll be hearing that from Phillip Buchanon in the near-future after this week's performance. After a time, I began to play a game, counting the seconds between mistakes, waiting with giddy excitement while seeing that head coach of theirs as enraged as an elementary school janitor fresh out of Vomit-be-Gone. Rex Grossman noted, "They came at us with some tough schemes, but we were able to put a few decent plays together. I think we can move the ball against anyone, stop anyone and we just didn't execute today." Phillip Buchanon shot, "No comment." When pressed, he added, "Get out of my face, man... I don't want to get fined for shoving that there microphone in a deep, dark crevass on your person if you catch my drift." BB bludgeoning MHD like a mink that suddenly finds that a family of mice has taken up residence in her den, maiming their egos by the tune of 62-39 in front of a despondent home crowd. BB leads the all-time series 9-4 against MHD. BB has a 8-4 regular season record (1-1 in this year's playoffs). MHD has a 3-9 regular season record. They looked unstoppable on the BB squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 321 points, 218 on offense and 103 on defense. Mark Brunell with 34 points on offense and Sam Williams with 15 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM Aaron Cook, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Adam Bergen was clearly showing some ill-effects from his intestinal parasite. Doc says that he's gotten much better since he's started the electroshock therapy... something about frontal lobes and things with molecular structures. It all sounded very clinical to me, but as long as it keeps him on the field, I'm all for it. As for those DB? They showed their ineptitude by amassing absolutely nothing over the course of the contest. Overall though, the Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man in this game was Chad Williams. Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Aaron Cook said, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." In response, the MHD coach waxed poetic, stating, "Oh, they're harmless... a bit annoying too, I guess... Kinda remind me of Barney or Big Bird..." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||