Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. MHD is quite the ascetic team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by DS. If Rex Grossman's body of work exemplifies the high-point of your weekend, you know that you're on the losing end of a sordid, sick joke of a game. Words utterly fail to describe this romp into the realms of ineptitude. When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Standing here in the garish, filth-ridden stands of this now-empty stadium after the game, I got to thinking - such is truly the fate of both fans of the MHD squad. In the end, this team is just hopeless. Rex Grossman gurgled, "They came at us with some tough schemes, but we were able to put a few decent plays together. I think we can move the ball against anyone, stop anyone and we just didn't execute today." Dexter Coakley droned, "It really doesn't matter, I mean, we lost the game. I had full command of everything that was going on out there, just like I thought I would. I mean, again, you try to practice hard to try and prepare you for the game, but when you get in game situation, you have to take care of the little things and I think we didn't do that today DS has feasted upon MHD as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution, blitzing them by the tune of 25-10 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. DS leads the all-time series 10-3 against MHD. DS has a 4-8 regular season record. MHD has a 3-9 regular season record. They looked unstoppable on the DS squad particularly on the defensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 284 points, 158 on offense and 126 on defense. Chester Taylor with 24 points on offense and Lito Sheppard with 37 points on defense were the top scorers. However, they were far from perfect. Said Coach/GM Jeffrey Leiss, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Mike Doss kinda languished a bit out there. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those OLB? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with absolutely nothing throughout the course of their pitiful performance. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Chad Jackson. Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Jeffrey Leiss noted, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." In response, the MHD coach considered this when he said, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||