| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | The Spanish Inquisition | 183 | 92 | 275 | 39 | | Home | For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge | 199 | 105 | 304 | 54 |
| For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge |
The Spanish Inquisition |
|---|
| S | Jamie Martin QB NO | 0 |
| I | Jon Kitna QB DET | 0 |
| I | Josh McCown QB DET | 0 |
| I | Dan Orlovsky QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Drew Brees QB NO | 28 |
| S | Shaun O'Hara OC NYG | 11 |
| I | Jahri Evans OT NO | 0 |
| S | Justin Smiley OG SF | 8 |
| I | Chris Spencer OC SEA | 0 |
| I | Steve Hutchinson OG MIN | 0 |
| S | Chad Clifton OT GB | 11 |
| S | Shawn Andrews OG PHI | 5 |
| I | Max Starks OT PIT | 0 |
| S | George Foster OT DEN | 6 |
| I | Justin Griffith FB ATL | 0 |
| B | Brandon Miree FB GB | 3 |
| B | Correll Buckhalter RB PHI | 1 |
| B | Jamal Lewis RB BAL | 2 |
| S | Reggie Bush RB NO | 29 |
| S | DeShaun Foster RB CAR | 19 |
| S | Chris Chambers WR MIA | 11 |
| S | Plaxico Burress WR NYG | 26 |
| B | Brandon Jones WR TEN | 2 |
| I | Brandon Stokley WR IND | 0 |
| S | Eric Johnson TE SF | 11 |
| B | Daniel Wilcox TE BAL | 2 |
| B | Ben Troupe TE TEN | 3 |
| S | Dave Rayner K GB | 8 |
| I | Jeff Reed K PIT | 0 |
| S | Cleveland OST CLE | 9 |
| S | Luis Castillo DE LAC | 7 |
| S | Kendrick Clancy DT ARI | 3 |
| I | John Thornton DT CIN | 0 |
| S | Richard Seymour DE NE | 1 |
| B | Cullen Jenkins DE GB | 0 |
| S | Damione Lewis DT CAR | 1 |
| I | Erasmus James DE MIN | 0 |
| B | Scott Fujita OLB NO | 5 |
| S | Shaun Phillips OLB LAC | 11 |
| I | Rashad Jeanty DE/OLB CIN | 0 |
| S | Kawika Mitchell MLB KC | 4 |
| B | Marcus Washington OLB WAS | 3 |
| B | David Thornton OLB TEN | 8 |
| I | Parys Haralson OLB SF | 0 |
| S | Ernie Sims OLB DET | 12 |
| B | Dan Morgan MLB CAR | 0 |
| I | Teddy Lehman MLB DET | 0 |
| B | Abdul Hodge MLB GB | 0 |
| B | Barrett Ruud MLB TB | 1 |
| S | Ike Taylor CB PIT | 10 |
| I | Kelly Jennings CB SEA | 0 |
| B | Adam Jones CB TEN | 3 |
| S | Terrence McGee CB BUF | 2 |
| I | Glenn Earl S HOU | 0 |
| B | Bernard Pollard S KC | 4 |
| S | Michael Lewis S PHI | 5 |
| B | Ko Simpson S BUF | 6 |
| S | Deon Grant S JAC | 6 |
| B | Justin Miller CB NYJ | 1 |
| S | Josh Miller P NE | 3 |
| I | Atlanta DST ATL | 0 |
| S | Cleveland DST CLE | 9 |
|
| S | A.J. Feeley QB PHI | 0 |
| S | Donovan McNabb QB PHI | 35 |
| I | Kerry Collins QB TEN | 0 |
| I | Vince Young QB TEN | 0 |
| S | Jeff Garcia QB PHI | 0 |
| I | Jeff Hartings OC PIT | 0 |
| I | Mike Flynn OC BAL | 0 |
| S | Jamar Nesbit OC/OG NO | 10 |
| S | Todd Herremans OG/OT PHI | 5 |
| S | Marcus Johnson OG/OT MIN | 8 |
| S | Todd Steussie OG/OT LAR | 6 |
| I | Vernon Carey OT MIA | 0 |
| I | Jon Ogden OT BAL | 0 |
| I | Kyle Turley OL KC | 0 |
| S | Jordan Black OT KC | 2 |
| S | LaDainian Tomlinson RB LAC | 18 |
| B | Shaud Williams RB BUF | 0 |
| S | Travis Henry RB TEN | 17 |
| I | Michael Bennett RB KC | 0 |
| B | Willis McGahee RB BUF | 3 |
| B | Michael Turner RB LAC | 2 |
| I | David Givens WR TEN | 0 |
| B | Cedrick Wilson WR PIT | 1 |
| I | Nate Burleson WR SEA | 0 |
| I | Darrell Jackson WR SEA | 0 |
| S | Joey Galloway WR TB | 23 |
| B | Marcus Pollard TE DET | 1 |
| S | Jeremy Shockey TE NYG | 12 |
| B | Donald Lee TE GB | 0 |
| S | Antonio Gates TE LAC | 23 |
| B | John Gilmore TE CHI | 3 |
| S | John Carney K NO | 6 |
| I | Olindo Mare K MIA | 0 |
| S | New York (N) OST NYG | 8 |
| I | Philadelphia OST PHI | 0 |
| S | Will Smith DE NO | 3 |
| S | Tommie Harris DT CHI | 0 |
| S | Trevor Pryce DE BAL | 2 |
| S | James Reed DL KC | 3 |
| S | Ian Gold OLB DEN | 4 |
| B | Ben Leber OLB MIN | 8 |
| B | Aaron Schobel DE BUF | 2 |
| B | Napoleon Harris OLB MIN | 5 |
| I | Edgerton Hartwell MLB ATL | 0 |
| S | Gary Brackett MLB IND | 9 |
| S | Thomas Howard LB LV | 7 |
| B | David Macklin CB ARI | 0 |
| B | Derrick Strait CB CAR | 0 |
| B | Antoine Winfield CB MIN | 3 |
| S | Andre Dyson CB NYJ | 4 |
| B | Sammy Knight S KC | 4 |
| B | Mark Roman S SF | 2 |
| S | Donte Whitner S BUF | 9 |
| I | Lawyer Milloy S ATL | 0 |
| S | Ed Reed S BAL | 10 |
| B | Travis Fisher CB LAR | 1 |
| S | Will Allen CB MIA | 4 |
| S | Chris Kluwe P MIN | 10 |
| I | Ryan Plackemeier P SEA | 0 |
| S | Dallas DST DAL | 2 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Tommie Harris, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning TSI seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Donovan McNabb and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to TSI's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on AW for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir.
And so now it stands that AW leads the all-time series 5-4 against TSI. AW has a 4-8 regular season record. TSI has a 8-4 regular season record (3-1 in this year's playoffs). The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw AW has decaffeinated TSI as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution 54-39 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
Things went very well for the AW squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 304 points, 199 on offense and 105 on defense. Reggie Bush with 29 points on offense and David Thornton with 16 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Tim Shoemaker, "Sure, I'm a bit concerned about a few things.. For one, Damione Lewis was as sharp as a sponge today. That procedure he had a couple weeks back... labotomy, I think Doc said - well, that thing has done wonders for his game. He just stands in there and takes it now - play after play after play. No more of this whining about being too hurt. Doc is brilliant, I say. As for those MLB? They showed their ineptitude by amassing absolutely nothing while taking the day off. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Cullen Jenkins. His terrible effort yielded nothing but the scorn of his teammates.
Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Tim Shoemaker droned, "Like 'em? No... not really. I'd rather strangle puppies in front of a dozen orphans than pull that wretched owner of theirs out of a burning building." In response, the TSI coach considered this when he said, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." |
