Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. SC is quite the incapable team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by TSI. incapable. That word does not even begin to describe the game I saw today. Despite the ambient weather, I found myself looking upon the cold, dark, windswept gridiron of my soul, agonizing for three gut-wrenching hours as my eyes were forced to witness the utter lack of skill exhibited by SC on this particular day. By the end of the opening kickoff, I could already feel the nausea, the lurching in my stomach. By the end of the first quarter, I began to contemplate gnawing off my own leg to escape. My tears flowed as freely as the cheap beer consumed by the semi-sentients surrounding me, not for the defeated, but for the death of all that I thought was good and pure about football. Laveranues Coles droned, "Our defense was stout - I mean, golly. Have you ever seen such an effort? I mean, except for those breakdowns that led to all those scores. For at least half of the plays, we were great though. It's something to build on is all I'm getting at." Donnie Spragan blathered, "I'm very disappointed in myself, the way I played as one of the 60 leaders on this football team. It starts with me watching someone get the ball into the hands of the right guy and watch him making the plays... cheering on the others making the tackles... I did that. That falls on me. We're not going to win football games if they don't do their part." TSI has decaffeinated SC like a mink that suddenly finds that a family of mice has taken up residence in her den, emasculating them by the tune of 69-47 in front of a despondent home crowd. TSI leads the all-time series 2-0 against SC. TSI has a 8-4 regular season record (3-1 in this year's playoffs). SC has a 5-7 regular season record (0-1 in this year's playoffs). Things went very well for the TSI squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 310 points, 233 on offense and 77 on defense. LaDainian Tomlinson with 45 points on offense and Lawyer Milloy with 11 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Shane Rixom, "I took exception to our execution on a few plays.. For one, Nate Burleson was as sharp as a sponge today. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those OST? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with absolutely nothing while taking the day off. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Nate Burleson. Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Shane Rixom gurgled, "Oh, they're harmless... a bit annoying too, I guess... Kinda remind me of Barney or Big Bird..." In response, the SC coach droned, "They stink, not in that 'festering sewage inside a porta-potty next to a dead, bloated cow floating in a culvert' way, but more in the 'the Vienna Boy's Choir has more football talent' way." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||