Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once set fire to my neighbor's gaudy yard art. My father, as apoplectic as a TV evangelist being audited by the IRS, told me to retrieve a meat cleaver. He then pulled me across the embers in the firepit and placated the natives with my pain. The scars of that memory live on today. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to PC today are the same. DS has repelled PC as though they were naught but a group of frenchmen on the battlefield, topping them by the tune of 53-25 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. DS leads the all-time series 3-1 against PC. DS has a 4-8 regular season record. PC has a 8-4 regular season record (0-1 in this year's playoffs). Tiki Barber considered this when he said, "Our defense was stout - I mean, golly. Have you ever seen such an effort? I mean, except for those breakdowns that led to all those scores. For at least half of the plays, we were great though. It's something to build on is all I'm getting at." Keith Ellison blathered, 'There's really no way that you can shut them down.We had to resort to some... dubious tactics to stay in the game at all. You don't want to see anyone get hurt seriously, but this defense of ours is different. We're coming to hit, we're coming to hurt. When we get the chance to deliver the punch, we are going to try to knock people out... now if only our opponents occasionally noticed, eh?" They looked unstoppable on the DS squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 274 points, 193 on offense and 81 on defense. Matt Hasselbeck with 37 points on offense and DeMeco Ryans with 14 points on defense were the top scorers. However, they were far from perfect. Said Coach/GM Jeffrey Leiss, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Steve Smith performed like a spasmodic violinist. Stimulus. Response. That's all there is to it. Pavlov had a dog and I've got this idiot. I've noticed that the red tazer in particular gets him ready for the games. As for those NT? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with absolutely nothing instead of playing. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Ian Scott. His horrible effort yielded a seat alone on the ride home. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Ian Scott, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" DeMeco Ryans added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Jeffrey Leiss groaned, "I suppose every league needs a doormat. I feel some degree of scorn for them to be sure, but mostly, I just shake my head and watch them bumble their way from game to game with a sense of detached amusement." In response, the PC coach exclaimed, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||