Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once gave my brother's coin collection to a pair of destitute carnies. My father, as apoplectic as a TV evangelist being audited by the IRS, told me to retrieve a stick of dynamite. He then ordered me into a cave and set the embers of my wisdom to flame. At night, I still occasionally wake up screaming. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to BB today are the same. AW has decaffeinated BB as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution, whipping them by the tune of 29-12 in front of a despondent home crowd. AW leads the all-time series 3-0 against BB. AW has a 4-8 regular season record. BB has a 8-4 regular season record (1-1 in this year's playoffs). Kevin Jones noted, "They came at us with some tough schemes, but we were able to put a few decent plays together. I think we can move the ball against anyone, stop anyone and we just didn't execute today." Muhsin Muhammad stated, "No comment." When pressed, he added, "Get out of my face, man... I don't want to get fined for shoving that there microphone in a deep, dark crevass on your person if you catch my drift." They looked unstoppable on the AW squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 276 points, 154 on offense and 122 on defense. Drew Brees with 38 points on offense and Scott Fujita with 16 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Tim Shoemaker, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Jeff Reed played about as well as a frog pithed by an epileptic first-grader. Doc says that he's gotten much better since he's started the electroshock therapy... something about frontal lobes and things with molecular structures. It all sounded very clinical to me, but as long as it keeps him on the field, I'm all for it. As for those OST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing absolutely nothing instead of playing. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Jamie Martin. His hideous effort yielded an expletive-laden outburst from me, I must admit. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Jamie Martin, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this." Jon Kitna added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master." Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Tim Shoemaker said, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." In response, the BB coach noted, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||