Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once convinced my cousin to join the circus. My father, as angered as an environmentalist stuck in a room full of Bolivian slash-n-burn agriculturalists, told me to retrieve a kipper snack. He then hauled me to the dark, dank closet and taught me the meaning of life. To this day, I still faint at the sight of my blood. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to RNR today are the same. SRS has beaten RNR as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution, overcoming their foes by the tune of 46-11 in front of a despondent home crowd. SRS leads the all-time series 4-1 against RNR. SRS has a 12-0 regular season record (2-0 in this year's playoffs). RNR has a 6-6 regular season record. Larry Johnson exclaimed, "It's rough, ya know... When coach picked me up, I knew I was fated for misery. I mean, I find myself entrenched on the roster of the league punching bag." Jordan Babineaux considered this when he said, "I'm very disappointed in myself, the way I played as one of the 60 leaders on this football team. It starts with me watching someone get the ball into the hands of the right guy and watch him making the plays... cheering on the others making the tackles... I did that. That falls on me. We're not going to win football games if they don't do their part." They were almost perfect on the SRS squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 314 points, 199 on offense and 115 on defense. David Carr with 42 points on offense and Andra Davis with 14 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Allen Cummings, "We have to get a lot better next week.. For one, Sean Jones was as sharp as a sponge today. That procedure he had a couple weeks back... labotomy, I think Doc said - well, that thing has done wonders for his game. He just stands in there and takes it now - play after play after play. No more of this whining about being too hurt. Doc is brilliant, I say. As for those DE? They showed their ineptitude by amassing absolutely nothing instead of playing. Overall though, the Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man in this game was Dwight Freeney. His hideous effort yielded a resigned sigh from his teammates. I've come up with a motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..." Says Dwight Freeney, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal." Kelly Herndon added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated Valkyrie... Man... brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.' " "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Allen Cummings groaned, "They stink, not in that 'festering sewage inside a porta-potty next to a dead, bloated cow floating in a culvert' way, but more in the 'the Vienna Boy's Choir has more football talent' way." In response, the RNR coach exclaimed, "I'm not saying that this is true, mind you, but I'm not saying it isn't. I heard tell that that owner of theirs has been kidnapping small children and selling them on the Chinese black market. Do I respect him? Does anyone?" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||