| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Memphis Hound Dogs | 178 | 58 | 236 | 48 | | Home | For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge | 159 | 82 | 241 | 51 |
| For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge |
Memphis Hound Dogs |
|---|
| I | Jamie Martin QB NO | 0 |
| S | Jon Kitna QB DET | 31 |
| S | Josh McCown QB DET | 0 |
| S | Dan Orlovsky QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Drew Brees QB NO | 0 |
| S | Shaun O'Hara OC NYG | 5 |
| I | Jahri Evans OT NO | 0 |
| I | Justin Smiley OG SF | 0 |
| I | Chris Spencer OC SEA | 0 |
| S | Steve Hutchinson OG MIN | 8 |
| S | Chad Clifton OT GB | 0 |
| S | Shawn Andrews OG PHI | 15 |
| I | Max Starks OT PIT | 0 |
| S | George Foster OT DEN | 8 |
| B | Justin Griffith FB ATL | 5 |
| S | Brandon Miree FB GB | 14 |
| I | Reggie Bush RB NO | 0 |
| B | Correll Buckhalter RB PHI | 1 |
| I | Jamal Lewis RB BAL | 0 |
| S | DeShaun Foster RB CAR | 13 |
| I | Brandon Jones WR TEN | 0 |
| S | Chris Chambers WR MIA | 5 |
| S | Plaxico Burress WR NYG | 17 |
| B | Brandon Stokley WR IND | 0 |
| I | Eric Johnson TE SF | 0 |
| S | Visanthe Shiancoe TE NYG | 8 |
| B | Matt Schobel TE PHI | 5 |
| I | Ben Troupe TE TEN | 0 |
| S | Dave Rayner K GB | 10 |
| I | Jeff Reed K PIT | 0 |
| S | Cleveland OST CLE | 10 |
| S | Luis Castillo DE LAC | 9 |
| I | Seth Payne DT HOU | 0 |
| S | John Thornton DT CIN | 1 |
| S | Richard Seymour DE NE | 0 |
| S | Barry Cofield DT NYG | 1 |
| I | Erasmus James DE MIN | 0 |
| I | Scott Fujita OLB NO | 0 |
| S | Shaun Phillips OLB LAC | 0 |
| B | Rashad Jeanty DE/OLB CIN | 0 |
| S | Kawika Mitchell MLB KC | 3 |
| B | Marcus Washington OLB WAS | 7 |
| I | David Thornton OLB TEN | 0 |
| I | Parys Haralson OLB SF | 0 |
| S | Ernie Sims OLB DET | 10 |
| I | Dan Morgan MLB CAR | 0 |
| B | Abdul Hodge MLB GB | 0 |
| I | Teddy Lehman MLB DET | 0 |
| B | Barrett Ruud MLB TB | 1 |
| S | Ike Taylor CB PIT | 3 |
| B | Kelly Jennings CB SEA | 1 |
| I | Adam Jones CB TEN | 0 |
| S | Terrence McGee CB BUF | 6 |
| B | Bernard Pollard S KC | 1 |
| S | Glenn Earl S HOU | 0 |
| B | Deon Grant S JAC | 4 |
| S | Michael Lewis S PHI | 2 |
| B | Ko Simpson S BUF | 2 |
| B | Sean Considine S PHI | 4 |
| B | Justin Miller CB NYJ | 3 |
| S | Josh Miller P NE | 9 |
| I | Atlanta DST ATL | 0 |
| S | Cleveland DST CLE | 15 |
|
| I | Brian Griese QB CHI | 0 |
| I | Rex Grossman QB CHI | 0 |
| S | Michael Vick QB ATL | 34 |
| I | Kyle Orton QB ??? | 0 |
| S | D.J. Shockley QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Matt Schaub QB ATL | 0 |
| I | Olin Kreutz OC CHI | 0 |
| S | Todd McClure OC ATL | 12 |
| S | Joe Andruzzi OG CLE | -1 |
| I | Jermane Mayberry OG ??? | 0 |
| S | Randy Thomas OG WAS | 7 |
| I | Damien Woody OG DET | 0 |
| S | Walter Jones OT SEA | 2 |
| S | Marc Colombo OT DAL | 1 |
| I | D'Brickashaw Ferguson OT NYJ | 0 |
| I | Jammal Brown OT NO | 0 |
| B | T.J. Duckett RB WAS | 0 |
| B | Corey Dillon RB NE | 5 |
| S | Warrick Dunn RB ATL | 16 |
| B | Cadillac Williams RB TB | 3 |
| B | Koren Robinson WR GB | 0 |
| S | Eric Parker WR LAC | 7 |
| I | David Boston WR ??? | 0 |
| I | Marques Colston WR NO | 0 |
| S | Hines Ward WR PIT | 42 |
| B | Kris Mangum TE CAR | 4 |
| B | Leonard Pope TE ARI | 1 |
| S | Benjamin Watson TE NE | 18 |
| S | Heath Miller TE PIT | 17 |
| I | Jason Hanson K DET | 0 |
| S | Jay Feely K NYG | 10 |
| I | New Orleans OST NO | 0 |
| B | Elvis Dumervil DE DEN | 9 |
| B | Shaun Ellis DE NYJ | 1 |
| S | Darren Howard DE PHI | 4 |
| B | Grady Jackson DT ATL | 2 |
| S | Chris Hovan DT TB | 0 |
| I | Albert Haynesworth DT TEN | 0 |
| S | Warren Sapp DT LV | 0 |
| B | Darrell Shropshire DT ATL | 0 |
| S | Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila DE GB | 1 |
| S | Angelo Crowell OLB BUF | 3 |
| B | Jason Babin DE HOU | 0 |
| S | Lemar Marshall MLB WAS | 0 |
| I | David Pollack OLB CIN | 0 |
| I | Dexter Coakley OLB LAR | 0 |
| I | Ray Lewis MLB BAL | 0 |
| B | Dhani Jones OLB PHI | 2 |
| B | Caleb Miller LB CIN | 3 |
| S | Fred Smoot CB MIN | 4 |
| S | Champ Bailey CB DEN | 10 |
| S | Carlos Rogers CB WAS | 0 |
| B | Brian Kelly CB TB | 0 |
| B | Mike Minter S CAR | 4 |
| S | John Lynch S DEN | 1 |
| B | Will Demps S NYG | 2 |
| S | Jermaine Phillips S TB | 8 |
| B | Phillip Buchanon CB TB | 0 |
| I | Scott Player P ARI | 0 |
| S | Paul Ernster P DEN | 3 |
| S | Philadelphia DST PHI | 1 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
"You want fries with that?" Yep, we'll be hearing that from Joe Andruzzi in the near-future after this week's performance. After a time, I began to play a game, counting the seconds between mistakes, waiting with giddy excitement while seeing that head coach of theirs as enraged as an elementary school janitor fresh out of Vomit-be-Gone.
And so now it stands that AW leads the all-time series 2-0 against MHD. AW has a 4-8 regular season record. MHD has a 3-9 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw AW overwhelming MHD like a mink that suddenly finds that a family of mice has taken up residence in her den 51-48 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
They were almost perfect on the AW squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 241 points, 159 on offense and 82 on defense. Jon Kitna with 31 points on offense and Marcus Washington with 14 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Tim Shoemaker, "I took exception to our execution on a few plays.. For one, Shawn Andrews performed like a spasmodic violinist. Stimulus. Response. That's all there is to it. Pavlov had a dog and I've got this idiot. I've noticed that the red tazer in particular gets him ready for the games. As for those DT? They were utterly incompetent, gaining 1 Tackles, 1 QB Hits instead of playing. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Shaun Phillips. His nasty effort yielded a month in the doghouse.
There's no love lost between these two clubs. Tim Shoemaker exclaimed, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." In response, the MHD coach considered this when he said, "He and his lecherous team of cub scouts have all the football grace of a French eunuch trying to ride a bull suffering from mad cow's disease while reciting the
Gettysburg Address." |
