Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once electrocuted the dog with a toaster. My father, as enraged as an elementary school janitor fresh out of Vomit-be-Gone, told me to retrieve our self-help electroshock therapy kit. He then heaved me behind the shed and came up with at least fourteen uses for said device that I'd never contemplated. To this day, I still wet my pants whenever I think of that memory. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to LLL today are the same. MHD has decaffeinated LLL like a mink that suddenly finds that a family of mice has taken up residence in her den, publicly humiliating them by the tune of 64-35 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. MHD leads the all-time series 9-5 against LLL. MHD has a 3-9 regular season record. LLL has a 1-11 regular season record. Carson Palmer stated, "Our defense was stout - I mean, golly. Have you ever seen such an effort? I mean, except for those breakdowns that led to all those scores. For at least half of the plays, we were great though. It's something to build on is all I'm getting at." Chad Brown considered this when he said, "Word up... I ain't showed nothin' today 'cuz dey wuz cheating. No, I ain't sayin' dat... les jus say dat if the refs had any guts, dey woulda been throwin' their little yellow hankies all over 'round me. Da way I was disrespected out there was sick, dude." They were almost perfect on the MHD squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 325 points, 215 on offense and 110 on defense. Rex Grossman with 47 points on offense and Ray Lewis with 14 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM Chip Riggs, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Dhani Jones performed like a spasmodic violinist. I've been working with Doc on a revolutionary new procedure... I won't go into the full details right now, but let's just say that he won't have an any excuse for dropping the damned ball anymore. As for those DST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing absolutely nothing throughout the course of their pitiful performance. Overall though, the the most incompetant player in this game was Matt Schaub. His wretched effort yielded nothing but the scorn of his teammates. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Matt Schaub, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Grady Jackson added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" There's no love lost between these two clubs. Chip Riggs whined, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." In response, the LLL coach droned, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||