Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Plaxico Burress shot, "To say that we stunk would be unfair to skunks and unwashed monks, man. We were awful today! Do you see us getting any better in time for the next game, 'cause I sure don't. The guys played with no fire, the coaching was flat, and the playcalling was atrocious. Our execution? Yeah, I'm for it." Well no kidding, Einstein. AW was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. If Plaxico Burress's body of work exemplifies the high-point of your weekend, you know that you're on the losing end of a sordid, sick joke of a game. Words utterly fail to describe this romp into the realms of ineptitude. When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Standing here in the garish, filth-ridden stands of this now-empty stadium after the game, I got to thinking - such is truly the fate of both fans of the AW squad. In the end, this team is just hopeless. So now the series stands TB leads the all-time series 7-2 against AW. TB has a 9-3 regular season record (1-1 in this year's playoffs). AW has a 4-8 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw TB prostrated AW like a bloated spider engorging on the tender underbelly of a common house fly 68-39 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. They looked unstoppable on the TB squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 292 points, 220 on offense and 72 on defense. Peyton Manning with 62 points on offense and Justin Smith with 10 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. of the game goes to Orpheus Roye. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Orpheus Roye, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Nate Kaeding added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Tim Marshall droned, "They stink, not in that 'festering sewage inside a porta-potty next to a dead, bloated cow floating in a culvert' way, but more in the 'the Vienna Boy's Choir has more football talent' way." In response, the AW coach exclaimed, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||