Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Chris Perry, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning SC seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Ronnie Brown and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to SC's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on LLL for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir. And so now it stands that LLL trails the all-time series 4-9 against SC. LLL has a 5-7 regular season record (1-0 in this year's playoffs). SC has a 3-9 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw LLL prostrated SC as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match 24-19 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. They looked unstoppable on the LLL squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 239 points, 130 on offense and 109 on defense. Thomas Jones with 17 points on offense and Robert Mathis with 11 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Scott Lawrence, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Mat McBriar kinda languished a bit out there. Doc says that he secretes some sort of viscous slime from his arms when he gets hot. This in turn makes the ball, his uniform, his hands, whatever - kinda slick. If you look at many of his 3789 miscues over the year, you can see that often times, nobody even touches him and he falls down, the ball slips out of his hands, or he misfires on a play. As for those LB? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with absolutely nothing instead of playing. Overall though, the Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man in this game was Mat McBriar. His wretched effort yielded a venom-filled snarl of anger from his position coach. "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Scott Lawrence shot, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." In response, the SC coach gurgled, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||