Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. BB is quite the blundering team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by SRS. If Kevin Jones's body of work exemplifies the high-point of your weekend, you know that you're on the losing end of a sordid, sick joke of a game. Words utterly fail to describe this romp into the realms of ineptitude. When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Standing here in the garish, filth-ridden stands of this now-empty stadium after the game, I got to thinking - such is truly the fate of both fans of the BB squad. In the end, this team is just hopeless. Kevin Jones droned, "Offensively, we saved our best for last, which is the best thing I can say for us. Heck, who am I kidding, man? Our best sucked." Tony Moll blathered, 'There's really no way that you can shut them down.We had to resort to some... dubious tactics to stay in the game at all. You don't want to see anyone get hurt seriously, but this defense of ours is different. We're coming to hit, we're coming to hurt. When we get the chance to deliver the punch, we are going to try to knock people out... now if only our opponents occasionally noticed, eh?" SRS has senselessly deluged BB as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution, emasculating them by the tune of 51-0 in front of a despondent home crowd. SRS leads the all-time series 11-3 against BB. SRS has a 12-0 regular season record (2-0 in this year's playoffs). BB has a 8-4 regular season record (1-1 in this year's playoffs). They looked unstoppable on the SRS squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 362 points, 192 on offense and 170 on defense. David Carr with 35 points on offense and Rashean Mathis with 19 points on defense were the top scorers. However, they were far from perfect. Said Coach/GM Allen Cummings, "Sure, I'm a bit concerned about a few things.. For one, Dwight Freeney performed like a spasmodic violinist. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those OC? They showed their ineptitude by amassing absolutely nothing throughout the course of their pitiful performance. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Jerome Harrison. "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Allen Cummings exclaimed, "Like 'em? No... not really. I'd rather strangle puppies in front of a dozen orphans than pull that wretched owner of theirs out of a burning building." In response, the BB coach gurgled, "He and his lecherous team of cub scouts have all the football grace of a French eunuch trying to ride a bull suffering from mad cow's disease while reciting the Gettysburg Address." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||