Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once gave my brother's coin collection to a pair of destitute carnies. My father, as unhappy as a politician running for re-election while in the midst of another scandal, told me to retrieve our self-help electroshock therapy kit. He then thrust me onto the kitchen table and authored a novel on corporal punishment. To this day, I still faint at the sight of my blood. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to PC today are the same. TB has staggered PC as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match, topping them by the tune of 59-29 in front of a despondent home crowd. TB leads the all-time series 10-3 against PC. TB has a 9-3 regular season record (1-1 in this year's playoffs). PC has a 8-4 regular season record (0-1 in this year's playoffs). Tiki Barber noted, "We know it's going to be a hard-fought game when we play these clowns - tough, physical... It's important to win the physical football games because you put so much into it. We didn't do that today. Every time I looked up, I heard the crowd and I figured it was another turnover. It's tough to lose when you've worked all week. Mentally, you have to let it go." John Henderson shot, "I told the guys that they were going to make a mistake somewhere and when they did it, I pulled up with a 'sore ankle' if ya catch my drift. No sense me gettin' blasted. When we're playing at our best, those mistakes don't happen and tonight definitely wasn't our night." Things went very well for the TB squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 319 points, 217 on offense and 102 on defense. Willie Parker with 33 points on offense and Bob Sanders with 16 points on defense were the top scorers. However, they were far from perfect. Said Coach/GM Tim Marshall, "I took exception to our execution on a few plays.. For one, Nathan Vasher performed like a spasmodic violinist. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those NT? They showed their ineptitude by amassing absolutely nothing over the course of the contest. Overall though, the Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man in this game was Nick Ferguson. His hideous effort yielded a resigned sigh from his teammates. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Nick Ferguson, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this." Todd Heap added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master." There's no love lost between these two clubs. Tim Marshall said, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." In response, the PC coach stated, "I feel kinda sorry for them, to be honest. I mean, how can you be that inept, that pitiable? I guess they occasionally get my blood flowing, but for the most part, playing them is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||