Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. MHD is quite the ascetic team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by HVC. I love football. The stale smell of rancid beer, the sweaty crowd of rabid fans, the cross-eyed and homely cheerleaders trying to incite us to collective ear-drum rupturing noise, the reverberating sound of vicious collisions, the poetic beauty of a laser-guided bullet pass crashing into the receiver's outstretched hands - yes, this is what I live for. This is what I saw today. Kudos to HVC for pulling out our self-help electroshock therapy kit, bludgeoning them and definitively putting on the superior show, but overall, it was quite a frenetic, enjoyable game. Ben Watson waxed poetic, stating, "Offensively, we saved our best for last, which is the best thing I can say for us. Heck, who am I kidding, man? Our best sucked." Darrell Shropshire exclaimed, "I'm very disappointed in myself, the way I played as one of the 60 leaders on this football team. It starts with me watching someone get the ball into the hands of the right guy and watch him making the plays... cheering on the others making the tackles... I did that. That falls on me. We're not going to win football games if they don't do their part." HVC has senselessly deluged MHD as though they were naught but a group of frenchmen on the battlefield, bludgeoning them by the tune of 44-0 in front of a despondent home crowd. HVC leads the all-time series 9-7 against MHD. HVC has a 5-7 regular season record. MHD has a 3-9 regular season record. They were almost perfect on the HVC squad particularly on the defensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 317 points, 159 on offense and 158 on defense. J.P. Losman with 44 points on offense and Kevin Kaesviharn with 23 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Joe Rupp, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Matt Leinart performed like a spasmodic violinist. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those OG/OT? They were utterly incompetent, gaining absolutely nothing instead of playing. Overall though, the Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man in this game was Alex Barron. Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Joe Rupp exclaimed, "Like 'em? No... not really. I'd rather strangle puppies in front of a dozen orphans than pull that wretched owner of theirs out of a burning building." In response, the MHD coach waxed poetic, stating, "Who? I didn't realize they were still in the league." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||