Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Carson Palmer blathered, "We know it's going to be a hard-fought game when we play these clowns - tough, physical... It's important to win the physical football games because you put so much into it. We didn't do that today. Every time I looked up, I heard the crowd and I figured it was another turnover. It's tough to lose when you've worked all week. Mentally, you have to let it go." Well no kidding, Einstein. LLL was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Drew Bennett, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning LLL seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Carson Palmer and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to LLL's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on BB for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir. So now the series stands BB leads the all-time series 14-12 against LLL. BB has a 8-4 regular season record (1-1 in this year's playoffs). LLL has a 1-11 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw BB has decaffeinated LLL as though they were naught but a group of frenchmen on the battlefield 10-0 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. Things went very well for the BB squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 242 points, 124 on offense and 118 on defense. Jason Campbell with 29 points on offense and Mike Vrabel with 14 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, the most incompetant player of the game goes to Adam Timmerman. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..." Says Adam Timmerman, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Jason Witten added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Aaron Cook waxed poetic, stating, "Well, there's murderers, rapists, boy bands, and then there's that owner of theirs... Which is worst? Hard to tell sometimes." In response, the LLL coach waxed poetic, stating, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||