Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once used my mother's fancy plate collection as clay pigeons. My father, as enraged as an elementary school janitor fresh out of Vomit-be-Gone, told me to retrieve a bag of cement. He then hauled me into a cave and pummeled me within inches of my life. Even now, twenty-six years later, the terror of that day lives on. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to TH today are the same. TSI prostrated TH as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match, whipping them by the tune of 68-6 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. TSI leads the all-time series 16-2-1 against TH. TSI has a 8-4 regular season record (3-1 in this year's playoffs). TH has a 2-10 regular season record. Ben Roethlisberger whined, "The win, see... dat's da importan' thing, peace, bro." When confronted with the reality that they had, in fact, lost, he blushed and added, "Yo man I ain't stupid or nothin'. I ain't talkin' 'bout no darned game... I mean them individual plays. That 3rd and 18 we had in the third quarter? You man, we gained six - count 'em, six yards on that play! That was an awesome end-around, man!" Freddy Keiaho considered this when he said, "I told the guys that they were going to make a mistake somewhere and when they did it, I pulled up with a 'sore ankle' if ya catch my drift. No sense me gettin' blasted. When we're playing at our best, those mistakes don't happen and tonight definitely wasn't our night." They were almost perfect on the TSI squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 333 points, 236 on offense and 97 on defense. LaDainian Tomlinson with 49 points on offense and Keith Lewis with 16 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM Shane Rixom, "We have to get a lot better next week.. For one, Trevor Pryce performed like a spasmodic violinist. His bones are made of flubber, so I don't think that's the problem. At least I wouldn't call that a break per se. Still, he's too much of a little baby to play with that little bruise. Broken vertabrae? I doubt that very much. It's clear who is here just to collect a check and frankly, I won't forget it. As for those OST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing absolutely nothing while taking the day off. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Todd Steussie. His terrible effort yielded a venom-filled snarl of anger from his position coach. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..." Says Todd Steussie, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this." John Gilmore added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master." There's no love lost between these two clubs. Shane Rixom waxed poetic, stating, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." In response, the TH coach stated, "Well, there's murderers, rapists, boy bands, and then there's that owner of theirs... Which is worst? Hard to tell sometimes." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||