| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Happy Valley Cougars | 157 | 92 | 249 | 7 | | Home | Southside Salamanders | 259 | 143 | 402 | 84 |
| Southside Salamanders |
Happy Valley Cougars |
|---|
| I | Aaron Rodgers QB GB | 0 |
| I | Brett Favre QB GB | 0 |
| S | David Carr QB HOU | 46 |
| S | Quinton Porter QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Sage Rosenfels QB HOU | 1 |
| I | Ingle Martin QB GB | 0 |
| I | John Wade OC TB | 0 |
| S | Scott Wells OC/OG GB | 8 |
| I | Ruben Brown OG CHI | 0 |
| I | Bennie Anderson OG MIA | 0 |
| S | Mike Goff OG LAC | 10 |
| S | Todd Weiner OT ATL | 12 |
| I | Kwame Harris OT SF | 0 |
| S | Tra Thomas OT PHI | 9 |
| S | Jake Scott OG IND | 19 |
| S | Frank Gore RB SF | 30 |
| I | Jerome Harrison RB CLE | 0 |
| B | Ahman Green RB GB | 7 |
| S | Reggie Wayne WR IND | 19 |
| I | Reggie Brown WR PHI | 0 |
| B | Greg Jennings WR GB | 3 |
| S | Chris Cooley TE WAS | 30 |
| B | George Wrighster TE JAC | 5 |
| S | Desmond Clark TE CHI | 11 |
| B | Reggie Kelly TE CIN | 3 |
| S | Kellen Winslow TE CLE | 18 |
| I | Joe Klopfenstein TE LAR | 0 |
| B | Owen Daniels TE HOU | 4 |
| I | Matt Bryant K TB | 0 |
| S | Rian Lindell K BUF | 9 |
| S | Oakland OST LV | 11 |
| B | Grant Wistrom DE SEA | 2 |
| I | Greg Ellis DE DAL | 0 |
| S | Kelly Gregg NT BAL | 2 |
| S | Dwight Freeney DE IND | 1 |
| S | Lance Briggs OLB CHI | 23 |
| S | Keith Bulluck OLB TEN | 7 |
| B | Ryan Nece OLB TB | 3 |
| B | Scott Shanle ILB NO | 3 |
| I | Chad Greenway OLB ??? | 0 |
| B | Daryl Smith OLB JAC | 3 |
| B | Manny Lawson OLB SF | 5 |
| I | Barry Gardner ILB ??? | 0 |
| S | Andra Davis ILB CLE | 10 |
| S | Larry Foote ILB PIT | 9 |
| B | D.J. Williams OLB DEN | 3 |
| B | Brady Poppinga LB GB | 3 |
| B | Kelly Herndon CB SEA | 4 |
| S | Sheldon Brown CB PHI | 2 |
| S | Rashean Mathis CB JAC | 5 |
| S | Alex Brown DE CHI | 5 |
| I | Corey Webster CB NYG | 0 |
| I | Jason David CB IND | 0 |
| B | Daven Holly CB CLE | 4 |
| S | Sean Jones S CLE | 12 |
| S | Stuart Schweigert S LV | 6 |
| B | Daniel Bullocks S DET | 8 |
| B | C.C. Brown S HOU | 3 |
| I | Mike McKenzie CB NO | 0 |
| B | Nick Collins S GB | 4 |
| I | Jason Allen DB MIA | 0 |
| S | Craig Hentrich P TEN | 7 |
| I | Derrick Frost P WAS | 0 |
| S | Cincinnati DST CIN | 9 |
|
| I | Kelly Holcomb QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Kurt Warner QB ARI | 0 |
| S | John Navarre QB ARI | 0 |
| I | J.P. Losman QB BUF | 0 |
| S | Matt Leinart QB ARI | 28 |
| I | Craig Nall QB BUF | 0 |
| I | Dominic Raiola OC DET | 0 |
| S | Dylan Gandy OC/OG IND | 0 |
| I | Alex Barron OT LAR | 0 |
| S | Erik Pears OT DEN | 3 |
| I | Matt Light OT NE | 0 |
| S | Michael Roos OT TEN | 7 |
| S | Ben Hamilton OG DEN | 3 |
| S | Tony Moll OG/OT GB | 7 |
| B | Jameel Cook FB HOU | 1 |
| B | Mack Strong FB SEA | 4 |
| S | Lorenzo Neal FB LAC | 12 |
| B | Musa Smith RB BAL | 1 |
| B | Damien Nash RB DEN | 1 |
| B | Jerious Norwood RB ATL | 2 |
| I | Jason Wright RB CLE | 0 |
| I | Arliss Beach RB ??? | 0 |
| S | Wali Lundy RB HOU | 20 |
| S | Laurence Maroney RB NE | 14 |
| B | Arlen Harris FB DET | 2 |
| S | Mark Campbell TE NO | 15 |
| I | Tony Scheffler TE DEN | 0 |
| I | Vernon Davis TE SF | 0 |
| B | Randal Williams TE LV | 3 |
| S | Dallas Clark TE IND | 19 |
| S | Adam Vinatieri K IND | 9 |
| I | Kris Brown K HOU | 0 |
| S | Atlanta OST ATL | 6 |
| B | Cory Redding DE DET | 2 |
| B | Paul Carrington DE ATL | 0 |
| S | Leonard Little DE LAR | 1 |
| I | Anthony McFarland NT IND | 0 |
| S | Jamal Williams NT LAC | 4 |
| I | James Hall DE DET | 0 |
| I | Willie McGinest OLB CLE | 0 |
| S | DeMarcus Ware OLB DAL | 4 |
| B | Stephen Cooper ILB LAC | 0 |
| S | Bradie James ILB DAL | 5 |
| B | D'Qwell Jackson ILB CLE | 8 |
| S | Channing Crowder OLB MIA | 1 |
| S | Bryan Thomas DE NYJ | 10 |
| S | Keyaron Fox LB KC | 8 |
| B | Terence Newman CB DAL | 1 |
| I | Ellis Hobbs CB NE | 0 |
| B | Johnathan Joseph CB CIN | 2 |
| S | Demarcus Faggins CB HOU | 2 |
| B | Juran Bolden CB TB | 3 |
| B | Marlon McCree S LAC | 0 |
| B | Dexter Jackson S CIN | 1 |
| S | DeAngelo Hall CB ATL | 3 |
| S | Josh Bullocks S NO | 2 |
| I | Kevin Kaesviharn S CIN | 0 |
| B | Gerald Sensabaugh S JAC | 2 |
| S | Kerry Rhodes S NYJ | 17 |
| S | Hunter Smith P IND | 13 |
| I | New York (A) DST NYJ | 0 |
| S | Saint Louis DST LAR | 3 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
I love football. The stale smell of rancid beer, the sweaty crowd of rabid fans, the cross-eyed and homely cheerleaders trying to incite us to collective ear-drum rupturing noise, the reverberating sound of vicious collisions, the poetic beauty of a laser-guided bullet pass crashing into the receiver's outstretched hands - yes, this is what I live for. This is what I saw today. Kudos to SRS for pulling out our self-help electroshock therapy kit, maiming their egos and definitively putting on the superior show, but overall, it was quite a frenetic, enjoyable game.
And so now it stands that SRS leads the all-time series 17-0 against HVC. SRS has a 12-0 regular season record (2-0 in this year's playoffs). HVC has a 5-7 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw SRS has decaffeinated HVC as though they were horses being sent to the glue factory 84-7 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
They were almost perfect on the SRS squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 402 points, 259 on offense and 143 on defense. David Carr with 46 points on offense and Lance Briggs with 23 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM Allen Cummings, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Jerome Harrison performed like a spasmodic violinist. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those NT? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with absolutely nothing instead of playing. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Sage Rosenfels. His hideous effort yielded a month in the doghouse.
There's no love lost between these two clubs. Allen Cummings gurgled, "Every neighborhood has the story about that crazy old man who chases the neighborhood children off his property with a rake... pretty harmless and a bit pitiable... kinda reminds me of our erstwhile opponents there." In response, the HVC coach gurgled, "I'm not saying that this is true, mind you, but I'm not saying it isn't. I heard tell that that owner of theirs has been kidnapping small children and selling them on the Chinese black market. Do I respect him? Does anyone?" |
