Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once drove the family station wagon through the front bay window. My father, as angry as an animal rights activist stumbling into an NRA convention, told me to retrieve a bag of cement. He then pulled me onto the kitchen table and authored a novel on corporal punishment. That was the day that I lost my left arm. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to BB today are the same. DS has staggered BB like a mink that suddenly finds that a family of mice has taken up residence in her den, whipping them by the tune of 51-40 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. DS leads the all-time series 16-11 against BB. DS has a 4-8 regular season record. BB has a 8-4 regular season record (1-1 in this year's playoffs). Marion Barber shot, "To say that we stunk would be unfair to skunks and unwashed monks, man. We were awful today! Do you see us getting any better in time for the next game, 'cause I sure don't. The guys played with no fire, the coaching was flat, and the playcalling was atrocious. Our execution? Yeah, I'm for it." Pat Williams gurgled, "Oh fo real, man. Ya see, I is da real thing. Dose drops, man. Dat weren't my fault, dawg. Th playa wuz trowing too hard and I run the wrong play jus so's he can't find me. No sense me breakin' my assets, man... No sense me making it on 'Jacked Up' or nothin'. No matter... I be back, bro. Expect numba ME to grab up 60 scores this season, yo. Dem otha's, man? I gonna steal the show. They's amateurs spelt wit a capital E." They looked unstoppable on the DS squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 316 points, 217 on offense and 99 on defense. Joseph Addai with 51 points on offense and Abdul Hodge with 19 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Jeffrey Leiss, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Justin McCareins performed like a spasmodic violinist. Medically speaking, his body should be donated to science, there's so much wrong with him. At least, that's gotta be the case given the number of plays he likes to take off . As for those OC/OG? They were utterly incompetent, gaining absolutely nothing while taking the day off. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Jordan Beck. His horrible effort yielded nothing but the scorn of his teammates. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..." Says Jordan Beck, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this." Joseph Addai added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master." Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Jeffrey Leiss stated, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." In response, the BB coach groaned, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||