| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | The Spanish Inquisition | 212 | 90 | 302 | 50 | | Home | Resistance is Futile | 146 | 112 | 258 | 28 |
| Resistance is Futile |
The Spanish Inquisition |
|---|
| I | Joe Flacco QB BAL | 0 |
| S | Alex Brink QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Sage Rosenfels QB HOU | 0 |
| S | Matt Schaub QB HOU | 25 |
| I | Kyle Boller QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Troy Smith QB BAL | 0 |
| S | Casey Rabach OC WAS | 3 |
| I | Justin Hartwig OC PIT | 0 |
| S | Bobbie Williams OG CIN | 1 |
| I | Robert Gallery OG LV | 0 |
| S | Justin Smiley OG MIA | 1 |
| I | Arron Sears OG TB | 0 |
| I | Kareem McKenzie OT NYG | 0 |
| S | Jake Long OT MIA | 2 |
| S | Jordan Gross OT ??? | 12 |
| I | Jeremy Trueblood OT TB | 0 |
| I | Chester Taylor RB MIN | 0 |
| B | DeAngelo Williams RB CAR | 3 |
| S | Ricky Williams RB MIA | 3 |
| B | Kevin Smith RB DET | 5 |
| S | Darren McFadden RB LV | 7 |
| I | Robert Meachem WR NO | 0 |
| S | Nate Burleson WR SEA | 18 |
| B | Donte' Stallworth WR CLE | 0 |
| B | Ted Ginn WR MIA | 0 |
| S | Lee Evans WR BUF | 16 |
| S | Anthony Fasano TE MIA | 27 |
| B | Fred Davis TE WAS | 0 |
| B | Randy McMichael TE LAR | 4 |
| S | Stephen Gostkowski K NE | 5 |
| I | Matt Stover K BAL | 0 |
| S | Chicago OST CHI | 10 |
| I | Dallas OST DAL | 0 |
| S | Shawne Merriman OLB LAC | 5 |
| B | Chris Kelsay DE BUF | 2 |
| B | Phillip Merling DE MIA | 2 |
| S | Andre Carter DE WAS | 7 |
| B | Tank Johnson NT DAL | 1 |
| S | Jason Ferguson NT MIA | 2 |
| B | Kris Jenkins NT NYJ | 2 |
| S | Adewale Ogunleye DE CHI | 11 |
| S | Kawika Mitchell OLB BUF | 8 |
| B | Parys Haralson OLB SF | 7 |
| S | James Farrior ILB PIT | 6 |
| B | Akin Ayodele ILB MIA | 4 |
| B | Lawrence Timmons ILB PIT | 2 |
| S | Eric Barton ILB NYJ | 7 |
| B | Na'il Diggs OLB CAR | 5 |
| S | Nathan Vasher CB CHI | 4 |
| B | Adam Jones CB DAL | 1 |
| B | Chris Gamble CB CAR | 10 |
| S | Shawn Springs CB WAS | 0 |
| S | Dexter Jackson S CIN | 6 |
| S | Ken Hamlin S DAL | 5 |
| I | Troy Polamalu S PIT | 0 |
| B | Chris Hope S TEN | 2 |
| I | Matt Turk P HOU | 0 |
| S | Shane Lechler P LV | 12 |
| S | Chicago DST CHI | 1 |
| I | Dallas DST DAL | 0 |
|
| S | Brian Griese QB TB | 0 |
| I | Derek Anderson QB CLE | 0 |
| I | Ken Dorsey QB CLE | 0 |
| I | Brady Quinn QB CLE | 0 |
| S | Jeff Garcia QB TB | 22 |
| S | Luke McCown QB TB | 0 |
| I | Kevin Mawae OC TEN | 0 |
| S | Samson Satele OC MIA | 5 |
| S | Jamar Nesbit OG ??? | 9 |
| I | Travelle Wharton OG CAR | 0 |
| S | Todd Herremans OG PHI | 16 |
| I | Mike Pollak OG IND | 0 |
| I | Vernon Carey OG/OT ??? | 0 |
| S | Damien Woody OT NYJ | 4 |
| S | Nick Kaczur OT ??? | 8 |
| I | Khalif Barnes OT JAC | 0 |
| B | Darren Sproles RB LAC | 0 |
| B | Jonathan Stewart RB CAR | 2 |
| B | Lorenzo Booker RB PHI | 0 |
| S | Michael Turner RB ATL | 40 |
| S | LaDainian Tomlinson RB LAC | 19 |
| S | Devin Hester WR/CB CHI | 2 |
| I | Deion Branch WR SEA | 0 |
| I | Chris Henry WR CIN | 0 |
| B | Bernard Berrian WR MIN | 2 |
| S | Hines Ward WR PIT | 28 |
| S | Jeremy Shockey TE NO | 22 |
| B | Visanthe Shiancoe TE MIN | 5 |
| S | Antonio Gates TE LAC | 19 |
| S | Ryan Longwell K MIN | 7 |
| I | Sebastian Janikowski K LV | 0 |
| I | Denver OST DEN | 0 |
| S | Philadelphia OST PHI | 2 |
| S | Will Smith DE NO | 3 |
| B | Tommie Harris DT CHI | 1 |
| S | Ed Johnson DT IND | 6 |
| B | Kevin Carter DL TB | 0 |
| S | Rob Meier DT JAC | 3 |
| S | Aaron Schobel DE BUF | 9 |
| B | Erin Henderson LB MIN | 0 |
| I | Junior Seau OLB NE | 0 |
| B | Joey Porter OLB MIA | 4 |
| S | Thomas Howard OLB LV | 4 |
| B | Kirk Morrison MLB LV | 3 |
| S | E.J. Henderson MLB MIN | 6 |
| B | Brian Kelly CB DET | 1 |
| B | Brian Williams CB JAC | 4 |
| I | Fernando Bryant CB ??? | 0 |
| S | Antoine Winfield CB MIN | 7 |
| B | Drayton Florence CB JAC | 2 |
| B | Marlon McCree S DEN | 3 |
| B | Kalvin Pearson S DET | 2 |
| S | Gerald Alexander S DET | 4 |
| S | Reggie Nelson S JAC | 4 |
| B | Brandon Meriweather S NE | 2 |
| B | Ed Reed S BAL | 2 |
| S | Chris Harris S CAR | 13 |
| I | Daniel Sepulveda P ??? | 0 |
| S | Nick Harris P DET | 7 |
| S | Tennessee DST TEN | 0 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Anthony Fasano droned, "We know it's going to be a hard-fought game when we play these clowns - tough, physical... It's important to win the physical football games because you put so much into it. We didn't do that today. Every time I looked up, I heard the crowd and I figured it was another turnover. It's tough to lose when you've worked all week. Mentally, you have to let it go." Well no kidding, Einstein. KIR was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. Yikes! KIR has just completed a game in which they, proverbially speaking, electrocuted the dog with a toaster. To point fingers after this debacle would be unfair given that this most assuredly was a team effort - and that's the only positive spin I can put on the game.
So now the series stands TSI leads the all-time series 9-2 against KIR. TSI has a 1-0 regular season record. KIR has a 0-1 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw TSI prostrated KIR as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match 50-28 in front of a despondent home crowd.
Things went very well for the TSI squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 302 points, 212 on offense and 90 on defense. Michael Turner with 40 points on offense and Chris Harris with 13 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, the most incompetant player of the game goes to Khalif Barnes. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..."
Says Khalif Barnes, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal."
Brandon Meriweather added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated
Valkyrie... Man...
brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.'
"
"Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Al Burns exclaimed, "I suppose every league needs a doormat. I feel some degree of scorn for them to be sure, but mostly, I just shake my head and watch them bumble their way from game to game with a sense of detached amusement." In response, the KIR coach shot, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." |
