Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. RNR is quite the blundering team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by OA. OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Vince Manuwai, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning RNR seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Jon Kitna and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to RNR's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on OA for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir. Jon Kitna said, "Our defense was stout - I mean, golly. Have you ever seen such an effort? I mean, except for those breakdowns that led to all those scores. For at least half of the plays, we were great though. It's something to build on is all I'm getting at." Vince Manuwai considered this when he said, "I told the guys that they were going to make a mistake somewhere and when they did it, I pulled up with a 'sore ankle' if ya catch my drift. No sense me gettin' blasted. When we're playing at our best, those mistakes don't happen and tonight definitely wasn't our night." OA has feasted upon RNR as though they were an all you can eat buffet residing next to a weight-watcher's clinic, maiming their egos by the tune of 30-22 in front of a despondent home crowd. OA leads the all-time series 7-2 against RNR. OA has a 1-0 regular season record. RNR has a 0-1 regular season record. Things went very well for the OA squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 288 points, 171 on offense and 117 on defense. Chad Pennington with 29 points on offense and Lance Briggs with 18 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM Adam Murgittroyd, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Jermaine Phillips performed like a spasmodic violinist. Doc was tellin' me that he's seen all the telltale signs of... oh, I forget the medical term for it, but basically, he's a screw-up because he just isn't that bright when you get right down to it. Shoulda known when my scouts mentioned that he rode the short bus. As for those DE/OLB? They were utterly incompetent, gaining 3 Tackles while taking the day off. Overall though, the Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man in this game was Andrew Whitworth. "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Adam Murgittroyd whined, "Oh, they're harmless... a bit annoying too, I guess... Kinda remind me of Barney or Big Bird..." In response, the RNR coach grumbled, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||