Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Jonathan Stewart whined, "The win, see... dat's da importan' thing, peace, bro." When confronted with the reality that they had, in fact, lost, he blushed and added, "Yo man I ain't stupid or nothin'. I ain't talkin' 'bout no darned game... I mean them individual plays. That 3rd and 18 we had in the third quarter? You man, we gained six - count 'em, six yards on that play! That was an awesome end-around, man!" Well no kidding, Einstein. TSI was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Kalvin Pearson, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning TSI seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Jonathan Stewart and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to TSI's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on TB for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir. So now the series stands TB trails the all-time series 7-9 against TSI. TB has a 2-0 regular season record. TSI has a 1-1 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw TB has beaten TSI as though they were an all you can eat buffet residing next to a weight-watcher's clinic 39-7 in front of a despondent home crowd. They looked unstoppable on the TB squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 298 points, 182 on offense and 116 on defense. Earnest Graham with 33 points on offense and Donnie Jones with 25 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man of the game goes to Felix Jones. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..." Says Felix Jones, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal." Eric Green added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated Valkyrie... Man... brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.' " There's no love lost between these two clubs. Tim Marshall considered this when he said, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." In response, the TSI coach gurgled, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||