| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Rock N Rollers | 151 | 107 | 258 | 8 | | Home | Punxsutawney Chucks | 129 | 135 | 264 | 11 |
| Punxsutawney Chucks |
Rock N Rollers |
|---|
| S | Kurt Warner QB ARI | 26 |
| I | Alex Smith QB ??? | 0 |
| I | J.T. O'Sullivan QB SF | 0 |
| S | Matt Leinart QB ARI | 0 |
| S | Brian St. Pierre QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Shaun Hill QB SF | 0 |
| I | Jamie Martin QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Jamaal Jackson OC PHI | 4 |
| I | Chris Myers OC/OG HOU | 0 |
| S | Jason Brown OG BAL | 6 |
| I | Jacob Bell OG ??? | 0 |
| S | Alan Faneca OG NYJ | 5 |
| S | Levi Brown OT ARI | 8 |
| S | Marvel Smith OT ??? | 0 |
| I | Gosder Cherilus OT DET | 0 |
| B | Warrick Dunn RB TB | 3 |
| S | Selvin Young RB DEN | 10 |
| I | Rashard Mendenhall RB PIT | 0 |
| I | DeShaun Foster RB SF | 0 |
| I | LaMont Jordan RB NE | 0 |
| B | DeDe Dorsey RB CIN | 0 |
| S | Brandon Jackson RB GB | 5 |
| B | Ray Rice RB BAL | 1 |
| I | Deuce McAllister RB NO | 0 |
| S | Braylon Edwards WR CLE | 8 |
| B | Roddy White WR ATL | 6 |
| S | Muhsin Muhammad WR CAR | 7 |
| B | Casey Fitzsimmons TE DET | 2 |
| B | Reggie Kelly TE CIN | 5 |
| S | L.J. Smith TE PHI | 8 |
| I | Jeff Reed K PIT | 0 |
| S | Matt Prater K DEN | 12 |
| S | Buffalo OST BUF | 9 |
| I | Kenechi Udeze DE ??? | 0 |
| B | Raheem Brock DT IND | 0 |
| I | Alex Hall LB CLE | 0 |
| S | Derrick Harvey DE JAC | 1 |
| S | Glenn Dorsey DT KC | 5 |
| B | Elvis Dumervil DE DEN | 1 |
| S | Gaines Adams DE TB | 14 |
| S | Brodrick Bunkley DT PHI | 7 |
| B | Chike Okeafor OLB ARI | 1 |
| B | Ben Leber OLB MIN | 3 |
| S | Michael Boley OLB ATL | 4 |
| S | LaMarr Woodley OLB PIT | 7 |
| S | Paul Posluszny MLB BUF | 11 |
| B | Rocky McIntosh OLB WAS | 7 |
| I | Dan Connor LB CAR | 0 |
| B | Barrett Ruud MLB TB | 7 |
| B | Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie CB ARI | 1 |
| B | Bryant McFadden CB PIT | 7 |
| B | Sheldon Brown CB PHI | 1 |
| I | Dunta Robinson CB HOU | 0 |
| B | Anthony Henry CB DAL | 7 |
| S | Aaron Ross CB NYG | 6 |
| S | Tye Hill CB LAR | 7 |
| B | Ryan Clark S PIT | 3 |
| S | Antoine Bethea S IND | 7 |
| I | Abram Elam S NYJ | 0 |
| S | Eric Weddle S LAC | 11 |
| S | Sam Koch P BAL | 12 |
| I | Mitch Berger P PIT | 0 |
| S | New England DST NE | 5 |
|
| S | Jon Kitna QB DET | 7 |
| I | Trent Green QB LAR | 0 |
| S | Dan Orlovsky QB DET | -5 |
| S | Drew Stanton QB DET | 0 |
| I | Brock Berlin QB LAR | 0 |
| I | Marc Bulger QB LAR | 0 |
| I | Shaun O'Hara OC ??? | 0 |
| S | Andre Gurode OC DAL | 9 |
| S | Cory Procter OC/OG DAL | 0 |
| S | Marshal Yanda OG/OT BAL | 11 |
| I | Vince Manuwai OG ??? | 0 |
| I | Eric Steinbach OG ??? | 0 |
| I | Damion McIntosh OG/OT KC | 0 |
| S | Mike Gandy OT ARI | 9 |
| S | Tony Moll OG/OT GB | 4 |
| B | Larry Johnson RB KC | 4 |
| B | Derrick Ward RB NYG | 4 |
| S | Julius Jones RB SEA | 24 |
| S | Steven Jackson RB LAR | 22 |
| B | Steve Slaton RB HOU | 7 |
| I | Maurice Morris RB SEA | 0 |
| B | Reggie Williams WR JAC | 1 |
| B | Kevin Walter WR HOU | 2 |
| I | Javon Walker WR LV | 0 |
| B | Steve Smith WR NYG | 4 |
| B | Chad Johnson WR CIN | 2 |
| S | Antwaan Randle El WR WAS | 6 |
| S | Bryant Johnson WR SF | 4 |
| B | Dan Campbell TE DET | 0 |
| B | Ben Utecht TE CIN | 3 |
| S | Tony Curtis TE DAL | 20 |
| B | Jeff King TE CAR | 2 |
| I | Shaun Suisham K WAS | 0 |
| S | Robbie Gould K CHI | 11 |
| S | San Diego OST LAC | 0 |
| B | Antonio Smith DE ARI | 2 |
| S | Patrick Kerney DE SEA | 1 |
| S | Marcus Stroud DT BUF | 7 |
| S | Kevin Williams DT MIN | 13 |
| I | Tommy Kelly DT LV | 0 |
| B | Kenyon Coleman DE NYJ | 2 |
| S | Jarret Johnson OLB BAL | 4 |
| S | Tamba Hali DE KC | 3 |
| B | Jordon Dizon OLB DET | 0 |
| B | Landon Johnson OLB CAR | 1 |
| B | Paris Lenon MLB DET | 4 |
| I | Joe Mays ILB ??? | 0 |
| S | D.J. Williams OLB DEN | 18 |
| S | Mike Peterson MLB JAC | 3 |
| S | Charles Tillman CB CHI | 13 |
| B | Nnamdi Asomugha CB LV | 4 |
| S | Terrence McGee CB BUF | 1 |
| S | Clinton Hart S LAC | 9 |
| I | Sammy Knight S NYG | 0 |
| S | Quintin Mikell S PHI | 7 |
| B | Michael Lewis S SF | 3 |
| I | Mike McKenzie CB NO | 0 |
| I | Jordan Babineaux DB SEA | 0 |
| S | Josh Bidwell P TB | 8 |
| I | Michael Koenen P ATL | 0 |
| S | Washington DST WAS | 4 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Steve Slaton noted, "We know it's going to be a hard-fought game when we play these clowns - tough, physical... It's important to win the physical football games because you put so much into it. We didn't do that today. Every time I looked up, I heard the crowd and I figured it was another turnover. It's tough to lose when you've worked all week. Mentally, you have to let it go." Well no kidding, Einstein. RNR was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. pathetic. That word does not even begin to describe the game I saw today. Despite the ambient weather, I found myself looking upon the cold, dark, windswept gridiron of my soul, agonizing for three gut-wrenching hours as my eyes were forced to witness the utter lack of skill exhibited by RNR on this particular day. By the end of the opening kickoff, I could already feel the nausea, the lurching in my stomach. By the end of the first quarter, I began to contemplate gnawing off my own leg to escape. My tears flowed as freely as the cheap beer consumed by the semi-sentients surrounding me, not for the defeated, but for the death of all that I thought was good and pure about football.
So now the series stands PC trails the all-time series 10-14 against RNR. PC has a 1-2 regular season record. RNR has a 0-3 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw PC bludgeoning RNR as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution 11-8 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
They were almost perfect on the PC squad particularly on the defensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 264 points, 129 on offense and 135 on defense. J.T. O'Sullivan with 35 points on offense and Rocky McIntosh with 14 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, team goat of the game goes to Marvel Smith. I've come up with a
motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..."
Says Marvel Smith, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this."
Marvel Smith added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master."
Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Glenn Good said, "I'm not saying that this is true, mind you, but I'm not saying it isn't. I heard tell that that owner of theirs has been kidnapping small children and selling them on the Chinese black market. Do I respect him? Does anyone?" In response, the RNR coach waxed poetic, stating, "Well, there's murderers, rapists, boy bands, and then there's that owner of theirs... Which is worst? Hard to tell sometimes." |
