| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Demonic Hordes | 138 | 113 | 251 | 17 | | Home | Steel Curtain | 136 | 105 | 241 | 12 |
| Steel Curtain |
Demonic Hordes |
|---|
| S | JaMarcus Russell QB LV | 17 |
| S | Marques Tuiasosopo QB LV | 0 |
| S | Andrew Walter QB LV | 0 |
| I | Kerry Collins QB TEN | 0 |
| I | Vince Young QB TEN | 0 |
| I | Chris Simms QB TEN | 0 |
| I | Nick Mangold OC ??? | 0 |
| S | Ryan Kalil OC CAR | 17 |
| I | Chris Snee OG NYG | 0 |
| S | Justin Blalock OG/OT ATL | 6 |
| I | Charlie Johnson OG IND | 0 |
| I | Alex Barron OT ??? | 0 |
| S | Eric Winston OT HOU | 8 |
| S | D'Brickashaw Ferguson OT ??? | 5 |
| I | Joe Thomas OT CLE | 0 |
| S | Ahman Green RB HOU | 0 |
| B | Brian Leonard RB LAR | 0 |
| I | Darius Walker RB ??? | 0 |
| S | LenDale White RB TEN | 8 |
| B | Chris Henry RB TEN | 0 |
| I | Ronnie Brown RB MIA | 0 |
| I | Randy Moss WR NE | 0 |
| B | Limas Sweed WR PIT | 0 |
| S | Matt Jones WR JAC | 19 |
| B | Mike Sims-Walker WR JAC | 3 |
| I | Roy Hall WR IND | 0 |
| B | Ben Hartsock TE ATL | 2 |
| S | Greg Olsen TE CHI | 17 |
| B | Martellus Bennett TE DAL | 0 |
| B | Alex Smith TE TB | 6 |
| S | Zach Miller TE LV | 24 |
| I | Dan Carpenter K MIA | 0 |
| S | Mike Nugent K NYJ | 0 |
| I | Seattle OST SEA | 0 |
| I | Jared DeVries DE DET | 0 |
| S | Darnell Dockett DT ARI | 8 |
| S | Luis Castillo DE LAC | 10 |
| S | Aaron Kampman DE GB | 5 |
| B | William Hayes DE TEN | 0 |
| S | Albert Haynesworth DT TEN | 12 |
| B | John Henderson DT JAC | 1 |
| B | Sedrick Ellis DT NO | 2 |
| B | Kamerion Wimbley OLB CLE | 5 |
| B | Nick Barnett MLB GB | 3 |
| B | Ahmad Brooks OLB ??? | 0 |
| S | Terrell Suggs OLB BAL | 10 |
| S | Jon Beason MLB CAR | 9 |
| S | A.J. Hawk OLB GB | 3 |
| B | Pat Thomas LB KC | 2 |
| B | Ricky Brown MLB LV | 4 |
| B | Clint Ingram OLB JAC | 1 |
| S | Richard Marshall CB CAR | 5 |
| S | Terence Newman CB DAL | 5 |
| B | Leodis McKelvin CB BUF | 3 |
| S | Donte Whitner S BUF | 7 |
| I | Kenny Phillips S NYG | 0 |
| S | Brian Dawkins S PHI | 4 |
| S | Sav Rocca P PHI | 6 |
| I | Steve Weatherford P JAC | 0 |
| S | Kansas City DST KC | 0 |
|
| I | Todd Collins QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Donovan McNabb QB PHI | 25 |
| S | A.J. Feeley QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Kevin Kolb QB PHI | 0 |
| I | Colt Brennan QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Jason Campbell QB WAS | 0 |
| I | Jonathan Goodwin OC/OG NO | 0 |
| S | Anthony Herrera OG ??? | 7 |
| S | Kris Dielman OG ??? | 0 |
| I | Mike Brisiel OG HOU | 0 |
| S | Eugene Amano OG ??? | 11 |
| I | Ryan Tucker OG/OT ??? | 0 |
| S | Ryan Harris OT DEN | 12 |
| I | Mark Tauscher OT GB | 0 |
| S | David Stewart OT TEN | 10 |
| B | Mike Tolbert FB LAC | 2 |
| I | Leonard Weaver FB SEA | 0 |
| B | Willis McGahee RB BAL | 3 |
| B | Jamaal Charles RB KC | 1 |
| S | Jerious Norwood RB ATL | 10 |
| B | Leon Washington RB NYJ | 3 |
| B | Andre Hall RB DEN | 1 |
| B | Devin Thomas WR WAS | 0 |
| S | Ike Hilliard WR TB | 4 |
| I | Anthony Gonzalez WR IND | 0 |
| I | Wes Welker WR NE | 0 |
| S | Donald Driver WR GB | 2 |
| I | Kevin Boss TE NYG | 0 |
| S | Marcedes Lewis TE JAC | 11 |
| S | Tony Scheffler TE DEN | 16 |
| B | Robert Royal TE BUF | 2 |
| I | Olindo Mare K SEA | 0 |
| S | Rob Bironas K TEN | 15 |
| S | Carolina OST CAR | 3 |
| I | Justin Tuck DE NYG | 0 |
| S | Stylez White DE TB | 3 |
| B | Leonard Little DE LAR | 6 |
| S | Travis Kirschke DE PIT | 6 |
| I | Vince Wilfork NT NE | 0 |
| S | Justin Bannan NT BAL | 3 |
| I | Osi Umenyiora OLB ??? | 0 |
| I | Clint Session OLB IND | 0 |
| I | Tyjuan Hagler OLB IND | 0 |
| B | Anthony Spencer OLB DAL | 2 |
| S | Chad Greenway OLB MIN | 10 |
| S | Zach Thomas ILB DAL | 12 |
| S | Karlos Dansby ILB ARI | 7 |
| B | Takeo Spikes OLB SF | 8 |
| I | Jerod Mayo ILB NE | 0 |
| B | Leon Williams ILB CLE | 3 |
| I | Leroy Hill OLB SEA | 0 |
| S | Antonio Cromartie CB LAC | 1 |
| S | Brandon Flowers CB KC | 14 |
| S | Carlos Rogers CB WAS | 8 |
| I | Corey Webster CB NYG | 0 |
| B | Leon Hall CB CIN | 2 |
| S | Adrian Wilson S ARI | 0 |
| S | Marvin White S CIN | 7 |
| B | Sean Jones S CLE | 0 |
| I | Yeremiah Bell S MIA | 0 |
| S | Mike Scifres P LAC | 20 |
| S | Buffalo DST BUF | 1 |
| I | New York (N) DST NYG | 0 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Zach Miller noted, "At least we weren't as bad as those '02 Flathead Cats... Yo, I'm trying to put a positive spin on this if you catch my drift. Gosh... we're hopeless." Well no kidding, Einstein. SC was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Martellus Bennett, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning SC seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Zach Miller and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to SC's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on DH for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir.
So now the series stands DH leads the all-time series 14-3 against SC. DH has a 4-0 regular season record. SC has a 0-4 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw DH bludgeoning SC as though they were horses being sent to the glue factory 17-12 in front of a despondent home crowd.
Things went very well for the DH squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 251 points, 138 on offense and 113 on defense. Jason Campbell with 36 points on offense and Mike Scifres with 20 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. of the game goes to Antonio Cromartie. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..."
Says Antonio Cromartie, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this."
Greg White added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master."
Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Raman Ohri said, "Oh, they're harmless... a bit annoying too, I guess... Kinda remind me of Barney or Big Bird..." In response, the SC coach grumbled, "I'm not saying that this is true, mind you, but I'm not saying it isn't. I heard tell that that owner of theirs has been kidnapping small children and selling them on the Chinese black market. Do I respect him? Does anyone?" |
