Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once tossed a frog in the microwave. My father, as enraged as an elementary school janitor fresh out of Vomit-be-Gone, told me to retrieve the family shotgun. He then thrust me to the dentist office and set the embers of my wisdom to flame. To this day, I still faint at the sight of my blood. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to OA today are the same. TH has decaffeinated OA as though they were an all you can eat buffet residing next to a weight-watcher's clinic, crushing them by the tune of 48-0 in front of a despondent home crowd. TH leads the all-time series 1-0 against OA. TH has a 2-2 regular season record. OA has a 2-2 regular season record. Terrell Owens shot, "At least we weren't as bad as those '02 Flathead Cats... Yo, I'm trying to put a positive spin on this if you catch my drift. Gosh... we're hopeless." Kwame Harris groaned, "Word up... I ain't showed nothin' today 'cuz dey wuz cheating. No, I ain't sayin' dat... les jus say dat if the refs had any guts, dey woulda been throwin' their little yellow hankies all over 'round me. Da way I was disrespected out there was sick, dude." They were almost perfect on the TH squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 307 points, 178 on offense and 129 on defense. Jake Delhomme with 39 points on offense and Charles Woodson with 19 points on defense were the top scorers. However, they were far from perfect. Said Coach/GM David Markfield, "Sure, I'm a bit concerned about a few things.. For one, Kyle Larson performed like a spasmodic violinist. Doc was tellin' me that he's seen all the telltale signs of... oh, I forget the medical term for it, but basically, he's a screw-up because he just isn't that bright when you get right down to it. Shoulda known when my scouts mentioned that he rode the short bus. As for those K? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with 6 Point After Touchdown, 1 Field Goals Attempted, 1 Kickoff Touchback while taking the day off. Overall though, the team goat in this game was Chris Kemoeatu. His terrible effort yielded precious little to praise. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Chris Kemoeatu, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal." Stacy Andrews added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated Valkyrie... Man... brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.' " Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. David Markfield droned, "Like 'em? No... not really. I'd rather strangle puppies in front of a dozen orphans than pull that wretched owner of theirs out of a burning building." In response, the OA coach quipped, "I suppose every league needs a doormat. I feel some degree of scorn for them to be sure, but mostly, I just shake my head and watch them bumble their way from game to game with a sense of detached amusement." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||