Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once used my mother's fancy plate collection as clay pigeons. My father, as enraged as an elementary school janitor fresh out of Vomit-be-Gone, told me to retrieve a sharpened stick. He then hauled me to the dentist office and set the embers of my wisdom to flame. Even now, I walk with a considerable limp. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to WLR today are the same. LLL has decaffeinated WLR as though they were horses being sent to the glue factory, bludgeoning them by the tune of 22-19 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. LLL trails the all-time series 3-5 against WLR. LLL has a 3-2 regular season record. WLR has a 3-2 regular season record. Kyle Orton quipped, "They came at us with some tough schemes, but we were able to put a few decent plays together. I think we can move the ball against anyone, stop anyone and we just didn't execute today." Craig Hentrich considered this when he said, "Oh fo real, man. Ya see, I is da real thing. Dose drops, man. Dat weren't my fault, dawg. Th playa wuz trowing too hard and I run the wrong play jus so's he can't find me. No sense me breakin' my assets, man... No sense me making it on 'Jacked Up' or nothin'. No matter... I be back, bro. Expect numba ME to grab up 60 scores this season, yo. Dem otha's, man? I gonna steal the show. They's amateurs spelt wit a capital E." They looked unstoppable on the LLL squad particularly on the defensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 303 points, 167 on offense and 136 on defense. T.J. Houshmandzadeh with 31 points on offense and Mat McBriar with 19 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Scott Lawrence, "I took exception to our execution on a few plays.. For one, Carson Palmer played about as well as a frog pithed by an epileptic first-grader. Medically speaking, his body should be donated to science, there's so much wrong with him. At least, that's gotta be the case given the number of plays he likes to take off . As for those MLB? They were utterly incompetent, gaining 4 Tackles while taking the day off. Overall though, the as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player in this game was Aqib Talib. His hideous effort yielded little but his position coach's fury. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Aqib Talib, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Lawyer Milloy added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Scott Lawrence shot, "Who? Do they even play professional football?" In response, the WLR coach waxed poetic, stating, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||