Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. BB is quite the awful team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by TSI. OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Chansi Stuckey, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning BB seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of David Garrard and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to BB's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on TSI for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir. David Garrard waxed poetic, stating, "The win, see... dat's da importan' thing, peace, bro." When confronted with the reality that they had, in fact, lost, he blushed and added, "Yo man I ain't stupid or nothin'. I ain't talkin' 'bout no darned game... I mean them individual plays. That 3rd and 18 we had in the third quarter? You man, we gained six - count 'em, six yards on that play! That was an awesome end-around, man!" Chansi Stuckey waxed poetic, stating, 'There's really no way that you can shut them down.We had to resort to some... dubious tactics to stay in the game at all. You don't want to see anyone get hurt seriously, but this defense of ours is different. We're coming to hit, we're coming to hurt. When we get the chance to deliver the punch, we are going to try to knock people out... now if only our opponents occasionally noticed, eh?" TSI has demoralized BB as though they were an all you can eat buffet residing next to a weight-watcher's clinic, emasculating them by the tune of 56-27 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. TSI leads the all-time series 1-0 against BB. TSI has a 4-2 regular season record. BB has a 1-5 regular season record. They looked unstoppable on the TSI squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 286 points, 202 on offense and 84 on defense. Derek Anderson with 37 points on offense and Joey Porter with 13 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Al Burns, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Gerald Alexander played about as well as a frog pithed by an epileptic first-grader. Stimulus. Response. That's all there is to it. Pavlov had a dog and I've got this idiot. I've noticed that the red tazer in particular gets him ready for the games. As for those DE? They showed their ineptitude by amassing 3 Tackles, 1 Assists instead of playing. Overall though, the Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man in this game was Tommie Harris. "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Al Burns noted, "I feel kinda sorry for them, to be honest. I mean, how can you be that inept, that pitiable? I guess they occasionally get my blood flowing, but for the most part, playing them is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer." In response, the BB coach droned, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||