Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once drove the family station wagon through the front bay window. My father, as unhappy as a politician running for re-election while in the midst of another scandal, told me to retrieve a bag of cement. He then pulled me to the dark, dank closet and placated the natives with my pain. Even now, I walk with a considerable limp. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to DH today are the same. TH has publically emasculated DH as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution, blitzing them by the tune of 27-12 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. TH trails the all-time series 1-3 against DH. TH has a 4-2 regular season record. DH has a 4-2 regular season record. Donovan McNabb waxed poetic, stating, "Our defense was stout - I mean, golly. Have you ever seen such an effort? I mean, except for those breakdowns that led to all those scores. For at least half of the plays, we were great though. It's something to build on is all I'm getting at." Jerious Norwood said, "I'm very disappointed in myself, the way I played as one of the 60 leaders on this football team. It starts with me watching someone get the ball into the hands of the right guy and watch him making the plays... cheering on the others making the tackles... I did that. That falls on me. We're not going to win football games if they don't do their part." They looked unstoppable on the TH squad particularly on the defensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 306 points, 164 on offense and 142 on defense. Tony Romo with 39 points on offense and Juqua Parker with 23 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM David Markfield, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Charles Woodson played about as well as a frog pithed by an epileptic first-grader. That procedure he had a couple weeks back... labotomy, I think Doc said - well, that thing has done wonders for his game. He just stands in there and takes it now - play after play after play. No more of this whining about being too hurt. Doc is brilliant, I say. As for those DST? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with 3 Punt returns defended, 26 Defended punt return yardage, 8.6667 Defended punt return average, 1 Defended kickoff returns, 22 Defended kickoff return yardage, 22 Defended kickoff return average over the course of the contest. Overall though, the the most incompetant player in this game was Stacy Andrews. His useless effort yielded a venom-filled snarl of anger from his position coach. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Stacy Andrews, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Derrick Mason added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. David Markfield droned, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." In response, the DH coach noted, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||