Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. RNR is quite the pathetic team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by DS. If Marc Bulger's body of work exemplifies the high-point of your weekend, you know that you're on the losing end of a sordid, sick joke of a game. Words utterly fail to describe this romp into the realms of ineptitude. When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Standing here in the garish, filth-ridden stands of this now-empty stadium after the game, I got to thinking - such is truly the fate of both fans of the RNR squad. In the end, this team is just hopeless. Marc Bulger stated, "Whoa... we got our backends handed to us today and that's for sure. Coach is steering us toward a high draft pick and a wasted season. I can only hope that he trades me to someone capable of winning before my career ends." Mike McKenzie quipped, "I'm very disappointed in myself, the way I played as one of the 60 leaders on this football team. It starts with me watching someone get the ball into the hands of the right guy and watch him making the plays... cheering on the others making the tackles... I did that. That falls on me. We're not going to win football games if they don't do their part." DS has demoralized RNR like a bloated spider engorging on the tender underbelly of a common house fly, emasculating them by the tune of 35-13 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. DS is all knotted up in the all-time series 1-1 against RNR. DS has a 2-5 regular season record. RNR has a 1-6 regular season record. They were almost perfect on the DS squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 254 points, 140 on offense and 114 on defense. Steve Smith with 27 points on offense and Jared Allen with 20 points on defense were the top scorers. Several mental breakdowns drew the coach's ire. Said Coach/GM Jeffrey Leiss, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Brandon Jacobs played about as well as a frog pithed by an epileptic first-grader. Doc says that he's gotten much better since he's started the electroshock therapy... something about frontal lobes and things with molecular structures. It all sounded very clinical to me, but as long as it keeps him on the field, I'm all for it. As for those OST? They were utterly incompetent, gaining 2 Punt return, -12 Punt return yardage, -6 Punt return average, 5 Kickoff returns, 102 Kickoff return yardage, 20.4 Kickoff return average over the course of the contest. Overall though, the team goat in this game was Haruki Nakamura. There's no love lost between these two clubs. Jeffrey Leiss quipped, "Every neighborhood has the story about that crazy old man who chases the neighborhood children off his property with a rake... pretty harmless and a bit pitiable... kinda reminds me of our erstwhile opponents there." In response, the RNR coach blathered, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||