Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. TB is quite the inept team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by WLR. inept. That word does not even begin to describe the game I saw today. Despite the ambient weather, I found myself looking upon the cold, dark, windswept gridiron of my soul, agonizing for three gut-wrenching hours as my eyes were forced to witness the utter lack of skill exhibited by TB on this particular day. By the end of the opening kickoff, I could already feel the nausea, the lurching in my stomach. By the end of the first quarter, I began to contemplate gnawing off my own leg to escape. My tears flowed as freely as the cheap beer consumed by the semi-sentients surrounding me, not for the defeated, but for the death of all that I thought was good and pure about football. Sammy Morris droned, "How about that offense, huh? Theirs, I mean, not ours. I pulled myself 'cause I didn't want to go in there and make anything worse.Yeah, this is going to be the nature of our team." Jerome Harrison quipped, "I'm very disappointed in myself, the way I played as one of the 60 leaders on this football team. It starts with me watching someone get the ball into the hands of the right guy and watch him making the plays... cheering on the others making the tackles... I did that. That falls on me. We're not going to win football games if they don't do their part." WLR has publically emasculated TB as though they were naught but a group of frenchmen on the battlefield, crushing them by the tune of 34-0 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. WLR trails the all-time series 1-2 against TB. WLR has a 5-2 regular season record. TB has a 6-1 regular season record. Things went very well for the WLR squad particularly on the defensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 338 points, 170 on offense and 168 on defense. Steven Jackson with 41 points on offense and DeMarcus Ware with 20 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Joe Rupp, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Dwight Lowery kinda languished a bit out there. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those DST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing 7 Punt returns defended, 166 Defended punt return yardage, 46.75 Defended punt return average, 4 Defended kickoff returns, 91 Defended kickoff return yardage, 45.5 Defended kickoff return average while taking the day off. Overall though, the the most incompetant player in this game was Joe Staley. Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Joe Rupp shot, "Nah, I don't have anything against them. They're kinda like little bunnies or maybe pop warner rejects.... kinda cute and all, but pretty impotent when it comes to football." In response, the TB coach waxed poetic, stating, "I feel kinda sorry for them, to be honest. I mean, how can you be that inept, that pitiable? I guess they occasionally get my blood flowing, but for the most part, playing them is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||