Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once gave my brother's coin collection to a pair of destitute carnies. My father, as angry as an animal rights activist stumbling into an NRA convention, told me to retrieve a bag of cement. He then hauled me to the dentist office and set the embers of my wisdom to flame. The scars of that memory live on today. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to TB today are the same. AW has demoralized TB as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match, emasculating them by the tune of 54-18 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. AW trails the all-time series 2-5 against TB. AW has a 6-2 regular season record. TB has a 6-2 regular season record. Tyler Thigpen quipped, "Our defense was stout - I mean, golly. Have you ever seen such an effort? I mean, except for those breakdowns that led to all those scores. For at least half of the plays, we were great though. It's something to build on is all I'm getting at." Edgerrin James noted, "Word up... I ain't showed nothin' today 'cuz dey wuz cheating. No, I ain't sayin' dat... les jus say dat if the refs had any guts, dey woulda been throwin' their little yellow hankies all over 'round me. Da way I was disrespected out there was sick, dude." They looked unstoppable on the AW squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 289 points, 200 on offense and 89 on defense. Drew Brees with 49 points on offense and Andy Lee with 13 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Tim Shoemaker, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Ernie Sims was clearly showing some ill-effects from his intestinal parasite. I've been working with Doc on a revolutionary new procedure... I won't go into the full details right now, but let's just say that he won't have an any excuse for dropping the damned ball anymore. As for those DST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing 1 Punt returns defended, 5 Defended punt return yardage, 5 Defended punt return average, 3 Defended kickoff returns, 78 Defended kickoff return yardage, 26 Defended kickoff return average throughout the course of their pitiful performance. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Barry Cofield. His wretched effort yielded a month in the doghouse. I've come up with a motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..." Says Barry Cofield, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal." Jahri Evans added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated Valkyrie... Man... brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.' " "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Tim Shoemaker shot, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." In response, the TB coach waxed poetic, stating, "They stink, not in that 'festering sewage inside a porta-potty next to a dead, bloated cow floating in a culvert' way, but more in the 'the Vienna Boy's Choir has more football talent' way." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||