Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. TH is quite the unimposing team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by RNR. I love football. The stale smell of rancid beer, the sweaty crowd of rabid fans, the cross-eyed and homely cheerleaders trying to incite us to collective ear-drum rupturing noise, the reverberating sound of vicious collisions, the poetic beauty of a laser-guided bullet pass crashing into the receiver's outstretched hands - yes, this is what I live for. This is what I saw today. Kudos to RNR for pulling out a meat cleaver, blitzing them and definitively putting on the superior show, but overall, it was quite a frenetic, enjoyable game. Derrick Mason groaned, "The win, see... dat's da importan' thing, peace, bro." When confronted with the reality that they had, in fact, lost, he blushed and added, "Yo man I ain't stupid or nothin'. I ain't talkin' 'bout no darned game... I mean them individual plays. That 3rd and 18 we had in the third quarter? You man, we gained six - count 'em, six yards on that play! That was an awesome end-around, man!" Brad Johnson droned, "I told the guys that they were going to make a mistake somewhere and when they did it, I pulled up with a 'sore ankle' if ya catch my drift. No sense me gettin' blasted. When we're playing at our best, those mistakes don't happen and tonight definitely wasn't our night." RNR has repelled TH like a bloated spider engorging on the tender underbelly of a common house fly, blitzing them by the tune of 26-19 in front of a despondent home crowd. RNR leads the all-time series 8-7 against TH. RNR has a 2-7 regular season record. TH has a 4-5 regular season record. Things went very well for the RNR squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 231 points, 139 on offense and 92 on defense. Dan Orlovsky with 27 points on offense and D.D. Lewis with 9 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Randy, "I took exception to our execution on a few plays.. For one, Kevin Williams was as sharp as a sponge today. Stimulus. Response. That's all there is to it. Pavlov had a dog and I've got this idiot. I've noticed that the red tazer in particular gets him ready for the games. As for those OST? They were utterly incompetent, gaining 3 Punt return, 17 Punt return yardage, 5.6667 Punt return average, 5 Kickoff returns, 72 Kickoff return yardage, 14.4 Kickoff return average while taking the day off. Overall though, the team goat in this game was Cory Procter. There's no love lost between these two clubs. Randy groaned, "Who? Do they even play professional football?" In response, the TH coach groaned, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||