| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge | 135 | 98 | 233 | 7 | | Home | Resistance is Futile | 127 | 122 | 249 | 15 |
| Resistance is Futile |
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge |
|---|
| I | Joe Flacco QB BAL | 0 |
| I | Todd Bouman QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Alex Brink QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Sage Rosenfels QB HOU | 31 |
| S | Matt Schaub QB HOU | 1 |
| I | Kyle Boller QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Troy Smith QB BAL | 0 |
| I | Casey Rabach OC WAS | 0 |
| I | Justin Hartwig OC PIT | 0 |
| I | Bobbie Williams OG CIN | 0 |
| I | Robert Gallery OG LV | 0 |
| S | Justin Smiley OG MIA | 3 |
| S | Arron Sears OG TB | 0 |
| S | Kareem McKenzie OT NYG | 14 |
| I | Jake Long OT MIA | 0 |
| I | Jordan Gross OT ??? | 0 |
| S | Jeremy Trueblood OT TB | 11 |
| B | Chester Taylor RB MIN | 3 |
| I | DeAngelo Williams RB CAR | 0 |
| B | Ricky Williams RB MIA | 1 |
| S | Kevin Smith RB DET | 15 |
| S | Darren McFadden RB LV | 0 |
| I | Devery Henderson WR NO | 0 |
| S | Steve Breaston WR ARI | 6 |
| I | Robert Meachem WR NO | 0 |
| I | Nate Burleson WR SEA | 0 |
| B | Donte' Stallworth WR CLE | 0 |
| B | Ted Ginn WR MIA | 2 |
| S | Lee Evans WR BUF | 5 |
| B | Desmond Clark TE CHI | 5 |
| S | Anthony Fasano TE MIA | 11 |
| I | Randy McMichael TE LAR | 0 |
| B | Anthony Becht TE LAR | 2 |
| S | Stephen Gostkowski K NE | 11 |
| S | Chicago OST CHI | 2 |
| I | Dallas OST DAL | 0 |
| I | Shawne Merriman OLB LAC | 0 |
| B | Chris Kelsay DE BUF | 1 |
| B | Phillip Merling DE MIA | 0 |
| S | Andre Carter DE WAS | 3 |
| B | Tank Johnson NT DAL | 1 |
| I | Jason Ferguson NT MIA | 0 |
| S | Kris Jenkins NT NYJ | 12 |
| S | Adewale Ogunleye DE CHI | 7 |
| S | Kawika Mitchell OLB BUF | 6 |
| I | Parys Haralson OLB SF | 0 |
| S | James Farrior ILB PIT | 20 |
| S | Akin Ayodele ILB MIA | 1 |
| B | Lawrence Timmons ILB PIT | 4 |
| B | Eric Barton ILB NYJ | 4 |
| I | Na'il Diggs OLB CAR | 0 |
| S | Brady Poppinga OLB GB | 6 |
| S | Corey Webster CB NYG | 17 |
| S | Nathan Vasher CB CHI | 3 |
| I | Adam Jones CB DAL | 0 |
| I | Chris Gamble CB CAR | 0 |
| B | Shawn Springs CB WAS | 0 |
| B | Dexter Jackson S CIN | 0 |
| S | Troy Polamalu S PIT | 6 |
| S | Chris Hope S TEN | 13 |
| B | Ken Hamlin S DAL | 3 |
| S | Shane Lechler P LV | 15 |
| S | Chicago DST CHI | 0 |
| I | Dallas DST DAL | 0 |
|
| I | Mark Brunell QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Eli Manning QB NYG | 13 |
| S | David Carr QB NYG | 0 |
| I | Drew Brees QB NO | 0 |
| I | Joey Harrington QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Jason Spitz OC/OG GB | 10 |
| S | Chris Kemoeatu OG PIT | 3 |
| S | Chris Spencer OC SEA | 2 |
| I | Jahri Evans OG NO | 0 |
| I | Jeromey Clary OT LAC | 0 |
| S | Chad Clifton OT GB | 0 |
| I | Shawn Andrews OT ??? | 0 |
| I | Joe Staley OT SF | 0 |
| S | Ryan Clady OT DEN | 6 |
| S | Jamal Lewis RB CLE | 8 |
| B | Jerome Harrison RB CLE | 1 |
| I | Jalen Parmele RB BAL | 0 |
| B | Justin Gage WR TEN | 0 |
| I | Marques Colston WR NO | 0 |
| S | Donnie Avery WR LAR | 7 |
| B | Miles Austin WR DAL | 0 |
| I | Lance Moore WR NO | 0 |
| S | Reggie Wayne WR IND | 15 |
| B | Tory Humphrey TE GB | 3 |
| B | Alge Crumpler TE TEN | 3 |
| B | David Martin TE MIA | 1 |
| S | Chris Cooley TE WAS | 21 |
| S | Owen Daniels TE HOU | 35 |
| I | Josh Brown K LAR | 0 |
| S | Josh Scobee K JAC | 7 |
| S | Jacksonville OST JAC | 0 |
| I | Cory Redding DT DET | 0 |
| B | Antwan Odom DE CIN | 2 |
| S | Jay Richardson DE LV | 2 |
| B | Adam Carriker DT LAR | 0 |
| I | Charles Johnson DE CAR | 0 |
| I | Jamaal Anderson DE ATL | 0 |
| B | Justin Harrell DT GB | 2 |
| S | Jarvis Moss DE DEN | 12 |
| I | Cullen Jenkins DE GB | 0 |
| S | Johnny Jolly DT GB | 4 |
| S | Barry Cofield DT NYG | 7 |
| I | Shaun Phillips OLB LAC | 0 |
| S | Stewart Bradley MLB PHI | 3 |
| S | Daryl Smith OLB JAC | 4 |
| S | Ernie Sims OLB DET | 3 |
| B | Lofa Tatupu MLB SEA | 0 |
| B | Ronde Barber CB TB | 1 |
| S | Kelvin Hayden CB IND | 0 |
| B | Tim Jennings CB IND | 6 |
| B | Chris Houston CB ATL | 1 |
| S | Cortland Finnegan CB TEN | 8 |
| S | Bernard Pollard S KC | 3 |
| B | Tanard Jackson S TB | 7 |
| S | Sabby Piscitelli S TB | 7 |
| B | James Sanders S NE | 1 |
| B | Darren Sharper S MIN | 2 |
| B | Brodney Pool S CLE | 3 |
| I | Andy Lee P SF | 0 |
| S | Adam Podlesh P JAC | 10 |
| S | Jacksonville DST JAC | 10 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Owen Daniels said, "It's rough, ya know... When coach picked me up,
I knew I was fated for misery. I mean, I find myself entrenched on the
roster of the league punching bag." Well no kidding, Einstein. AW was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. "You want fries with that?" Yep, we'll be hearing that from Ronde Barber in the near-future after this week's performance. After a time, I began to play a game, counting the seconds between mistakes, waiting with giddy excitement while seeing that head coach of theirs as enraged as an elementary school janitor fresh out of Vomit-be-Gone.
So now the series stands KIR leads the all-time series 1-0 against AW. KIR has a 3-6 regular season record. AW has a 6-3 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw KIR has feasted upon AW as though they were an all you can eat buffet residing next to a weight-watcher's clinic 15-7 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd.
They looked unstoppable on the KIR squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 249 points, 127 on offense and 122 on defense. Sage Rosenfels with 31 points on offense and James Farrior with 20 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, the most incompetant player of the game goes to Troy Smith. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..."
Says Troy Smith, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this."
Jeremy Trueblood added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master."
There's no love lost between these two clubs. Kevin Snyder gurgled, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." In response, the AW coach gurgled, "I feel kinda sorry for them, to be honest. I mean, how can you be that inept, that pitiable? I guess they occasionally get my blood flowing, but for the most part, playing them is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer." |
