| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Punxsutawney Chucks | 243 | 111 | 354 | 64 | | Home | For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge | 190 | 116 | 306 | 40 |
| For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge |
Punxsutawney Chucks |
|---|
| S | Mark Brunell QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Eli Manning QB NYG | 0 |
| I | David Carr QB NYG | 0 |
| S | Drew Brees QB NO | 29 |
| S | Joey Harrington QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Jason Spitz OC/OG GB | 7 |
| I | Chris Kemoeatu OG PIT | 0 |
| S | Chris Spencer OC SEA | 5 |
| S | Jahri Evans OG NO | 12 |
| S | Jeromey Clary OT LAC | 7 |
| I | Chad Clifton OT GB | 0 |
| I | Shawn Andrews OT ??? | 0 |
| I | Joe Staley OT SF | 0 |
| S | Ryan Clady OT DEN | 13 |
| S | Jamal Lewis RB CLE | 17 |
| B | Jerome Harrison RB CLE | 2 |
| I | Jalen Parmele RB BAL | 0 |
| B | Justin Gage WR TEN | 4 |
| S | Marques Colston WR NO | 20 |
| B | Donnie Avery WR LAR | 2 |
| I | Miles Austin WR DAL | 0 |
| B | Lance Moore WR NO | 6 |
| S | Reggie Wayne WR IND | 26 |
| B | Tory Humphrey TE GB | 3 |
| B | Alge Crumpler TE TEN | 4 |
| S | David Martin TE MIA | 11 |
| I | Chris Cooley TE WAS | 0 |
| S | Owen Daniels TE HOU | 8 |
| I | Josh Brown K LAR | 0 |
| S | Josh Scobee K JAC | 10 |
| S | Jacksonville OST JAC | 0 |
| B | Cory Redding DT DET | 4 |
| I | Antwan Odom DE CIN | 0 |
| B | Jay Richardson DE LV | 1 |
| B | Adam Carriker DT LAR | 1 |
| S | Charles Johnson DE CAR | 4 |
| B | Jamaal Anderson DE ATL | 0 |
| B | Justin Harrell DT GB | 2 |
| S | Jarvis Moss DE DEN | 0 |
| I | Cullen Jenkins DE GB | 0 |
| S | Johnny Jolly DT GB | 7 |
| S | Barry Cofield DT NYG | 0 |
| S | Shaun Phillips OLB LAC | 3 |
| S | Stewart Bradley MLB PHI | 16 |
| B | Daryl Smith OLB JAC | 8 |
| S | Ernie Sims OLB DET | 4 |
| B | Lofa Tatupu MLB SEA | 5 |
| I | Ronde Barber CB TB | 0 |
| B | Kelvin Hayden CB IND | 0 |
| S | Tim Jennings CB IND | 12 |
| B | Chris Houston CB ATL | 6 |
| S | Cortland Finnegan CB TEN | 10 |
| S | Bernard Pollard S KC | 15 |
| I | Tanard Jackson S TB | 0 |
| I | Sabby Piscitelli S TB | 0 |
| B | James Sanders S NE | 1 |
| B | Darren Sharper S MIN | 1 |
| S | Brodney Pool S CLE | 12 |
| I | Andy Lee P SF | 0 |
| S | Adam Podlesh P JAC | 3 |
| S | Jacksonville DST JAC | 1 |
|
| S | Kurt Warner QB ARI | 58 |
| I | Alex Smith QB ??? | 0 |
| I | J.T. O'Sullivan QB SF | 0 |
| S | Matt Leinart QB ARI | 0 |
| S | Brian St. Pierre QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Shaun Hill QB SF | 0 |
| I | Jamie Martin QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Jamaal Jackson OC PHI | 10 |
| S | Chris Myers OC/OG HOU | 5 |
| S | Jason Brown OG BAL | 6 |
| S | Jacob Bell OG ??? | 3 |
| I | Alan Faneca OG NYJ | 0 |
| S | Levi Brown OT ARI | 7 |
| I | Marvel Smith OT ??? | 0 |
| I | Gosder Cherilus OT DET | 0 |
| I | Warrick Dunn RB TB | 0 |
| S | Mewelde Moore RB PIT | 34 |
| I | Rashard Mendenhall RB PIT | 0 |
| B | Brandon Jackson RB GB | 1 |
| S | Ray Rice RB BAL | 4 |
| B | Correll Buckhalter RB PHI | 1 |
| B | Dominic Rhodes RB IND | 3 |
| S | Roddy White WR ATL | 19 |
| B | Braylon Edwards WR CLE | 1 |
| S | Muhsin Muhammad WR CAR | 14 |
| I | John Gilmore TE TB | 0 |
| B | Chris Baker TE NYJ | 3 |
| S | Tony Gonzalez TE KC | 45 |
| B | Robert Royal TE BUF | 1 |
| B | L.J. Smith TE PHI | 5 |
| S | Matt Prater K DEN | 12 |
| I | Jeff Reed K PIT | 0 |
| I | Minnesota OST MIN | 0 |
| S | Buffalo OST BUF | 11 |
| I | Kenechi Udeze DE ??? | 0 |
| S | Raheem Brock DT IND | 0 |
| B | Alex Hall LB CLE | 1 |
| B | Derrick Harvey DE JAC | 6 |
| S | Glenn Dorsey DT KC | 6 |
| S | Elvis Dumervil DE DEN | 2 |
| I | Gaines Adams DE TB | 0 |
| S | Aaron Smith DE PIT | 7 |
| B | Chike Okeafor OLB ARI | 3 |
| S | Ben Leber OLB MIN | 4 |
| B | Michael Boley OLB ATL | 5 |
| S | LaMarr Woodley OLB PIT | 0 |
| S | Paul Posluszny MLB BUF | 8 |
| I | Rocky McIntosh OLB WAS | 0 |
| B | Brandon Chillar OLB GB | 0 |
| I | Dan Connor LB CAR | 0 |
| I | Barrett Ruud MLB TB | 0 |
| I | Anthony Henry CB DAL | 0 |
| S | Dunta Robinson CB HOU | 5 |
| S | Ken Lucas CB CAR | 7 |
| B | Aaron Ross CB NYG | 2 |
| B | Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie CB ARI | 3 |
| I | Bryant McFadden CB PIT | 0 |
| S | Eric Weddle S LAC | 6 |
| B | Corey Graham CB CHI | 5 |
| B | Gerald Sensabaugh S JAC | 6 |
| S | Antoine Bethea S IND | 12 |
| B | Ryan Clark S PIT | 2 |
| S | Sam Koch P BAL | 14 |
| S | New York (A) DST NYJ | 7 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Drew Brees exclaimed, "How about that offense, huh? Theirs, I mean, not ours. I pulled myself 'cause I didn't want to go in there and make anything worse.Yeah, this is going to be the nature of our team." Well no kidding, Einstein. AW was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. I love football. The stale smell of rancid beer, the sweaty crowd of rabid fans, the cross-eyed and homely cheerleaders trying to incite us to collective ear-drum rupturing noise, the reverberating sound of vicious collisions, the poetic beauty of a laser-guided bullet pass crashing into the receiver's outstretched hands - yes, this is what I live for. This is what I saw today. Kudos to PC for pulling out a stick of dynamite, overcoming their foes and definitively putting on the superior show, but overall, it was quite a frenetic, enjoyable game.
So now the series stands PC trails the all-time series 5-7 against AW. PC has a 7-3 regular season record. AW has a 6-4 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw PC overwhelming AW as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution 64-40 in front of a despondent home crowd.
They were almost perfect on the PC squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 354 points, 243 on offense and 111 on defense. Kurt Warner with 58 points on offense and Sam Koch with 14 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, the most incompetant player of the game goes to Alex Hall. I've come up with a
motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..."
Says Alex Hall, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal."
Robert Royal added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated
Valkyrie... Man...
brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.'
"
"Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Glenn Good quipped, "Oh, they're harmless... a bit annoying too, I guess... Kinda remind me of Barney or Big Bird..." In response, the AW coach groaned, "I suppose every league needs a doormat. I feel some degree of scorn for them to be sure, but mostly, I just shake my head and watch them bumble their way from game to game with a sense of detached amusement." |
