| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | Southside Salamanders | 238 | 147 | 385 | 43 | | Home | Happy Valley Cougars | 202 | 152 | 354 | 28 |
| Happy Valley Cougars |
Southside Salamanders |
|---|
| S | Philip Rivers QB LAC | 0 |
| I | Rex Grossman QB CHI | 0 |
| S | Billy Volek QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Kyle Orton QB CHI | 0 |
| S | Charlie Whitehurst QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Caleb Hanie QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Nick Hardwick OC LAC | 0 |
| S | Brandon Moore OG NYJ | 5 |
| S | Marc Colombo OT DAL | 6 |
| I | Matt Light OT ??? | 0 |
| I | Langston Walker OT BUF | 0 |
| S | Tony Ugoh OT ??? | 7 |
| S | Ben Hamilton OC/OG DEN | 10 |
| I | Ryan Lilja OL ??? | 0 |
| S | Keydrick Vincent OL ??? | 15 |
| S | Le'Ron McClain FB BAL | 19 |
| S | Marion Barber RB DAL | 32 |
| I | Anthony Alridge RB ??? | 0 |
| I | Tashard Choice RB DAL | 0 |
| I | Steven Jackson RB LAR | 0 |
| B | Kevin Faulk RB NE | 4 |
| I | P.J. Pope RB DEN | 0 |
| I | Selvin Young RB DEN | 0 |
| B | Amani Toomer WR NYG | 1 |
| S | Anquan Boldin WR ARI | 41 |
| B | Bobby Engram WR SEA | 1 |
| S | Bo Scaife TE TEN | 14 |
| S | Dallas Clark TE IND | 18 |
| B | Nate Jackson TE DEN | 4 |
| S | Adam Vinatieri K IND | 18 |
| I | Oakland OST LV | 0 |
| S | Tennessee OST TEN | 3 |
| B | Bobby McCray DE NO | 2 |
| B | Corey Smith DE DET | 2 |
| S | Richard Seymour DE NE | 10 |
| S | Shaun Rogers NT CLE | 8 |
| I | Charles Grant DE NO | 0 |
| B | Mike Montgomery DE GB | 2 |
| I | Ryan Pickett NT GB | 0 |
| S | John Abraham DE ATL | 3 |
| S | James Harrison OLB PIT | 21 |
| S | DeMarcus Ware OLB DAL | 10 |
| B | Jyles Tucker OLB LAC | 3 |
| B | Pisa Tinoisamoa OLB LAR | 5 |
| S | D'Qwell Jackson ILB CLE | 11 |
| I | Andra Davis ILB CLE | 0 |
| B | Tedy Bruschi ILB NE | 4 |
| S | Patrick Willis ILB SF | 9 |
| B | Wesley Woodyard LB DEN | 5 |
| B | Jason Taylor DE/OLB WAS | 0 |
| B | Asante Samuel CB PHI | 5 |
| B | Ike Taylor CB PIT | 3 |
| S | Domonique Foxworth CB ATL | 5 |
| B | Kevin Kaesviharn S NO | 3 |
| I | DeAngelo Hall CB WAS | 0 |
| B | Deon Grant S SEA | 2 |
| S | Kerry Rhodes S NYJ | 9 |
| S | Dwight Lowery CB NYJ | 7 |
| S | Erik Coleman S ATL | 6 |
| B | Abram Elam S NYJ | 4 |
| S | Hunter Smith P IND | 12 |
| S | Detroit DST DET | 1 |
| I | Oakland DST LV | 0 |
|
| I | J.P. Losman QB BUF | 0 |
| S | Aaron Rodgers QB GB | 39 |
| I | Trent Edwards QB BUF | 0 |
| S | Matt Flynn QB GB | 0 |
| S | Brian Brohm QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Gibran Hamdan QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Scott Wells OC/OG GB | 16 |
| I | Mike Goff OG LAC | 0 |
| S | Chris Kuper OG DEN | 11 |
| I | Josh Sitton OG ??? | 0 |
| I | Duane Brown OT HOU | 0 |
| S | Tra Thomas OT ??? | 10 |
| S | Michael Roos OT TEN | 13 |
| S | Jake Scott OG TEN | 12 |
| B | Reggie Bush RB NO | 0 |
| S | Frank Gore RB SF | 27 |
| B | Fred Jackson RB BUF | 1 |
| S | Chris Johnson RB TEN | 14 |
| B | Mark Bradley WR KC | 3 |
| B | Vincent Jackson WR LAC | 1 |
| S | Brandon Marshall WR DEN | 18 |
| I | Mark Clayton WR BAL | 0 |
| I | James Jones WR GB | 0 |
| I | Jason Carter WR ??? | 0 |
| I | Sidney Rice WR MIN | 0 |
| I | Drew Carter WR ??? | 0 |
| I | Shaun McDonald WR DET | 0 |
| S | Greg Jennings WR GB | 19 |
| B | Brent Celek TE PHI | 4 |
| B | Dustin Keller TE NYJ | 7 |
| S | Kellen Winslow TE CLE | 21 |
| S | Mason Crosby K GB | 13 |
| I | John Carney K NYG | 0 |
| S | Green Bay OST GB | 9 |
| I | Ray McDonald DE SF | 0 |
| S | Justin Bannan NT BAL | 6 |
| I | Kelly Gregg DL ??? | 0 |
| S | Dwight Freeney DE IND | 10 |
| S | Keith Bulluck OLB TEN | 7 |
| B | Ryan Nece OLB DET | 3 |
| B | Danny Clark OLB NYG | 5 |
| I | Kevin Burnett ILB DAL | 0 |
| B | Manny Lawson OLB SF | 6 |
| I | Bryan Kehl OLB NYG | 0 |
| S | Channing Crowder ILB MIA | 9 |
| B | Bart Scott ILB BAL | 5 |
| S | Omar Gaither OLB PHI | 7 |
| I | David Harris ILB NYJ | 0 |
| S | Alex Brown DE CHI | 7 |
| S | Rashean Mathis CB JAC | 4 |
| B | Antoine Cason CB LAC | 3 |
| B | Brent Grimes CB ATL | 0 |
| B | Fred Bennett CB HOU | 6 |
| B | Brian Russell S SEA | 4 |
| S | Daniel Bullocks S DET | 9 |
| B | Jarrad Page S KC | 7 |
| S | Chinedum Ndukwe S CIN | 4 |
| S | Atari Bigby S GB | 4 |
| B | Aaron Rouse S GB | 2 |
| S | Brandon McDonald CB CLE | 12 |
| B | Darrelle Revis CB NYJ | 2 |
| I | Brandon Fields P MIA | 0 |
| S | Brett Kern P DEN | 16 |
| S | Tampa Bay DST TB | 9 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
"You want fries with that?" Yep, we'll be hearing that from Philip Rivers in the near-future after this week's performance. After a time, I began to play a game, counting the seconds between mistakes, waiting with giddy excitement while seeing that head coach of theirs as angry as an animal rights activist stumbling into an NRA convention.
And so now it stands that SRS leads the all-time series 15-0 against WLR. SRS has a 11-0 regular season record. WLR has a 7-4 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw SRS prostrated WLR like a bloated spider engorging on the tender underbelly of a common house fly 43-28 in front of a despondent home crowd.
They looked unstoppable on the SRS squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 385 points, 238 on offense and 147 on defense. Aaron Rodgers with 39 points on offense and Brett Kern with 16 points on defense were the top scorers. Mistakes dampened the mood around the locker room somewhat. Said Coach/GM Allen Cummings, "I took exception to our execution on a few plays.. For one, Ray McDonald was as sharp as a sponge today. Doc says that if he spent a little more time working off the flubber in his midsection than 'clubbing' and getting fat on the buck-a-bucket combo at the KFC, well, his medical list wouldn't read like a copy of 'War and Peace'. Back in my day, 'clubbing' was something untoward that you did to baby seals . As for those NT? They showed their ineptitude by amassing 4 Tackles, 1 Assists, 1 Stuff while taking the day off. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Ray McDonald. His bad effort yielded an expletive-laden outburst from me, I must admit.
"Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Allen Cummings whined, "Who? Do they even play professional football?" In response, the WLR coach exclaimed, "I'm not saying that this is true, mind you, but I'm not saying it isn't. I heard tell that that owner of theirs has been kidnapping small children and selling them on the Chinese black market. Do I respect him? Does anyone?" |
