Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Drew Brees considered this when he said, "The win, see... dat's da importan' thing, peace, bro." When confronted with the reality that they had, in fact, lost, he blushed and added, "Yo man I ain't stupid or nothin'. I ain't talkin' 'bout no darned game... I mean them individual plays. That 3rd and 18 we had in the third quarter? You man, we gained six - count 'em, six yards on that play! That was an awesome end-around, man!" Well no kidding, Einstein. AW was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. If Drew Brees's body of work exemplifies the high-point of your weekend, you know that you're on the losing end of a sordid, sick joke of a game. Words utterly fail to describe this romp into the realms of ineptitude. When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Standing here in the garish, filth-ridden stands of this now-empty stadium after the game, I got to thinking - such is truly the fate of both fans of the AW squad. In the end, this team is just hopeless. So now the series stands OA is all knotted up in the all-time series 1-1 against AW. OA has a 5-7 regular season record. AW has a 7-5 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw OA overwhelming AW as though they were an all you can eat buffet residing next to a weight-watcher's clinic 64-44 in front of a despondent home crowd. They looked unstoppable on the OA squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 336 points, 236 on offense and 100 on defense. Matt Cassel with 67 points on offense and Lance Briggs with 17 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, as voted on by his teammates, the most worthless player of the game goes to Bobby Carpenter. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..." Says Bobby Carpenter, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal." Ryan Grant added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated Valkyrie... Man... brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.' " Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Adam Murgittroyd considered this when he said, "Like 'em? No... not really. I'd rather strangle puppies in front of a dozen orphans than pull that wretched owner of theirs out of a burning building." In response, the AW coach quipped, "Thinking about them forces me to draw parallels between them and the Bulgarians." He was quick to add, "Erm, the Byzantine Empire had to deal with those clods... made themselves quite a nuisance 'til Basil crushed 'em and cut their eyes out - well, he left a couple of 'em with one eye so's they could guide the others home. I can't help but think that motivations such as that would help their cause." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||