Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once tossed a frog in the microwave. My father, as angry as an animal rights activist stumbling into an NRA convention, told me to retrieve a stick of dynamite. He then dragged me atop the compost heap and set the embers of my wisdom to flame. The scars of that memory live on today. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to AW today are the same. TB prostrated AW as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match, publicly humiliating them by the tune of 46-0 in front of a despondent home crowd. TB leads the all-time series 6-2 against AW. TB has a 7-5 regular season record (1-0 in this year's playoffs). AW has a 7-5 regular season record (0-1 in this year's playoffs). Eli Manning said, "We had a chance at the beginning, man. We hung in there through the opening kickoff. We fought, but after that, we just didn't get her done. It's a bit disappointing, to be sure." Donnie Avery gurgled, "No comment." When pressed, he added, "Get out of my face, man... I don't want to get fined for shoving that there microphone in a deep, dark crevass on your person if you catch my drift." They were almost perfect on the TB squad particularly on the defensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 344 points, 166 on offense and 178 on defense. Jason Witten with 41 points on offense and Mario Williams with 23 points on defense were the top scorers. However, they were far from perfect. Said Coach/GM Tim Marshall, "I took exception to our execution on a few plays.. For one, Madieu Williams was as sharp as a sponge today. Stimulus. Response. That's all there is to it. Pavlov had a dog and I've got this idiot. I've noticed that the red tazer in particular gets him ready for the games. As for those DE/LB? They were utterly incompetent, gaining 1 Tackles while taking the day off. Overall though, the the most incompetant player in this game was Rob Sims. His nasty effort yielded nothing but the scorn of his teammates. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..." Says Rob Sims, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal." Renaldo Hill added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated Valkyrie... Man... brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.' " Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Tim Marshall said, "They stink, not in that 'festering sewage inside a porta-potty next to a dead, bloated cow floating in a culvert' way, but more in the 'the Vienna Boy's Choir has more football talent' way." In response, the AW coach waxed poetic, stating, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||