Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Peyton Manning whined, "It's rough, ya know... When coach picked me up, I knew I was fated for misery. I mean, I find myself entrenched on the roster of the league punching bag." Well no kidding, Einstein. TB was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Darnell Stapleton, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning TB seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Peyton Manning and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to TB's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on TSI for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir. So now the series stands TSI leads the all-time series 11-7 against TB. TSI has a 7-5 regular season record (1-0 in this year's playoffs) having just won the Division Championship game. TB has a 7-5 regular season record (1-1 in this year's playoffs) having just lost the Division Championship game. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw TSI has demoralized TB as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match 30-12 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. They looked unstoppable on the TSI squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 350 points, 204 on offense and 146 on defense. Jeff Garcia with 42 points on offense and Ed Reed with 28 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man of the game goes to Sebastian Janikowski. I've come up with a motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..." Says Sebastian Janikowski, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal." Deion Branch added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated Valkyrie... Man... brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.' " "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Al Burns quipped, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." In response, the TB coach exclaimed, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||