| Off | Def | Total | Score |
|---|
| Away | The Spanish Inquisition | 225 | 106 | 331 | 63 | | Home | Punxsutawney Chucks | 184 | 99 | 283 | 39 |
| Punxsutawney Chucks |
The Spanish Inquisition |
|---|
| S | Kurt Warner QB ARI | 26 |
| I | Alex Smith QB ??? | 0 |
| I | J.T. O'Sullivan QB SF | 0 |
| S | Matt Leinart QB ARI | 2 |
| S | Brian St. Pierre QB ??? | 0 |
| I | Shaun Hill QB SF | 0 |
| I | Jamie Martin QB ??? | 0 |
| S | Jamaal Jackson OC PHI | 6 |
| S | Chris Myers OC/OG HOU | 5 |
| I | Jason Brown OG BAL | 0 |
| I | Jacob Bell OG ??? | 0 |
| S | Alan Faneca OG NYJ | 16 |
| S | John St. Clair OT ??? | 5 |
| S | Levi Brown OT ARI | 7 |
| I | Marvel Smith OT ??? | 0 |
| B | Dominic Rhodes RB IND | 8 |
| B | Mewelde Moore RB PIT | 1 |
| I | Rashard Mendenhall RB PIT | 0 |
| B | Brandon Jackson RB GB | 1 |
| I | Ray Rice RB BAL | 0 |
| I | Brandon Jacobs RB NYG | 0 |
| B | Correll Buckhalter RB PHI | 2 |
| S | Warrick Dunn RB TB | 19 |
| S | Muhsin Muhammad WR CAR | 12 |
| S | Roddy White WR ATL | 12 |
| B | Braylon Edwards WR CLE | 4 |
| I | Robert Royal TE BUF | 0 |
| B | Chris Baker TE NYJ | 5 |
| S | Tony Gonzalez TE KC | 28 |
| B | John Gilmore TE TB | 2 |
| S | L.J. Smith TE PHI | 12 |
| S | Matt Prater K DEN | 4 |
| I | Jeff Reed K PIT | 0 |
| I | Minnesota OST MIN | 0 |
| S | Buffalo OST BUF | 3 |
| I | Kenechi Udeze DE ??? | 0 |
| S | Raheem Brock DT IND | 1 |
| I | Derrick Harvey DE JAC | 0 |
| S | Glenn Dorsey DT KC | 2 |
| I | Elvis Dumervil DE DEN | 0 |
| S | Gaines Adams DE TB | 3 |
| S | Aaron Smith DE PIT | 12 |
| B | Chike Okeafor OLB ARI | 7 |
| B | Ben Leber OLB MIN | 3 |
| B | Michael Boley OLB ATL | 0 |
| S | LaMarr Woodley OLB PIT | 3 |
| B | Paul Posluszny MLB BUF | 6 |
| S | Rocky McIntosh OLB WAS | 2 |
| B | Brandon Chillar OLB GB | 1 |
| I | Dan Connor LB CAR | 0 |
| S | Barrett Ruud MLB TB | 14 |
| B | Aaron Ross CB NYG | 2 |
| I | Anthony Henry CB DAL | 0 |
| S | Dunta Robinson CB HOU | 4 |
| B | Ken Lucas CB CAR | 2 |
| B | Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie CB ARI | 3 |
| S | Bryant McFadden CB PIT | 4 |
| S | Eric Weddle S LAC | 5 |
| B | Corey Graham CB CHI | 2 |
| B | Gerald Sensabaugh S JAC | 2 |
| S | Antoine Bethea S IND | 11 |
| I | Ryan Clark S PIT | 0 |
| S | Sam Koch P BAL | 10 |
| S | New York (A) DST NYJ | 0 |
|
| I | Derek Anderson QB CLE | 0 |
| S | Brian Griese QB TB | 31 |
| I | Ken Dorsey QB CLE | 0 |
| I | Brady Quinn QB CLE | 0 |
| S | Jeff Garcia QB TB | 0 |
| S | Luke McCown QB TB | 0 |
| S | Kevin Mawae OC TEN | 11 |
| I | Samson Satele OC MIA | 0 |
| I | Jamar Nesbit OG ??? | 0 |
| S | Travelle Wharton OG CAR | 14 |
| S | Todd Herremans OG PHI | 7 |
| I | Mike Pollak OG IND | 0 |
| S | Vernon Carey OG/OT ??? | 5 |
| I | Nick Kaczur OT ??? | 0 |
| S | Damien Woody OT NYJ | 16 |
| I | Khalif Barnes OT JAC | 0 |
| S | Michael Turner RB ATL | 30 |
| S | LaDainian Tomlinson RB LAC | 23 |
| I | Darren Sproles RB LAC | 0 |
| B | Jonathan Stewart RB CAR | 3 |
| B | Bernard Berrian WR MIN | 4 |
| S | Deion Branch WR SEA | 14 |
| S | Devin Hester WR/CB CHI | 10 |
| B | Hines Ward WR PIT | 6 |
| S | Jeremy Shockey TE NO | 10 |
| B | Billy Miller TE NO | 4 |
| S | Antonio Gates TE LAC | 22 |
| B | Visanthe Shiancoe TE MIN | 3 |
| I | Sebastian Janikowski K LV | 0 |
| S | Ryan Longwell K MIN | 4 |
| I | Denver OST DEN | 0 |
| S | Philadelphia OST PHI | 8 |
| S | Darren Howard DT PHI | 0 |
| S | Will Smith DE NO | 5 |
| S | Tommie Harris DT CHI | 2 |
| B | Brandon Mebane DT SEA | 2 |
| S | Trevor Pryce DE BAL | 3 |
| I | Victor Adeyanju DE LAR | 0 |
| B | Baraka Atkins DE SEA | 2 |
| B | Darryl Blackstock OLB CIN | 2 |
| I | Aaron Schobel DE BUF | 0 |
| I | Junior Seau OLB NE | 0 |
| B | Napoleon Harris MLB MIN | 2 |
| S | Kirk Morrison MLB LV | 7 |
| S | Thomas Howard OLB LV | 4 |
| S | Joey Porter OLB MIA | 7 |
| I | E.J. Henderson MLB MIN | 0 |
| B | Kevin Bentley OLB HOU | 5 |
| B | Brian Williams CB JAC | 3 |
| B | Corey Ivy CB BAL | 2 |
| B | Drayton Florence CB JAC | 4 |
| S | Antoine Winfield CB MIN | 13 |
| B | Kalvin Pearson S DET | 5 |
| I | Marlon McCree S DEN | 0 |
| B | Usama Young CB NO | 1 |
| S | Ed Reed S BAL | 14 |
| B | Reggie Nelson S JAC | 5 |
| S | Brandon Meriweather S NE | 7 |
| B | Chris Harris S CAR | 2 |
| S | Nick Harris P DET | 9 |
| S | Cincinnati DST CIN | 0 |
|
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press)
Shaun Hill considered this when he said, "The win, see... dat's da importan' thing, peace, bro." When confronted with the reality that they had, in fact, lost, he blushed and added, "Yo man I ain't stupid or nothin'. I ain't talkin' 'bout no darned game... I mean them individual plays. That 3rd and 18 we had in the third quarter? You man, we gained six - count 'em, six yards on that play! That was an awesome end-around, man!" Well no kidding, Einstein. PC was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. "You want fries with that?" Yep, we'll be hearing that from Raheem Brock in the near-future after this week's performance. After a time, I began to play a game, counting the seconds between mistakes, waiting with giddy excitement while seeing that head coach of theirs as angered as an environmentalist stuck in a room full of Bolivian slash-n-burn agriculturalists.
So now the series stands TSI leads the all-time series 8-1 against PC. TSI has a 7-5 regular season record (2-0 in this year's playoffs) having just won the Conference Championship game. PC has a 9-3 regular season record (0-1 in this year's playoffs) having just lost the Conference Championship game. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw TSI has publically emasculated PC like a bloated spider engorging on the tender underbelly of a common house fly 63-39 in front of a despondent home crowd.
Things went very well for the TSI squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 331 points, 225 on offense and 106 on defense. Brian Griese with 31 points on offense and Ed Reed with 14 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, team goat of the game goes to Ken Dorsey. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..."
Says Ken Dorsey, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal."
Usama Young added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated
Valkyrie... Man...
brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.'
"
Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Al Burns droned, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." In response, the PC coach grumbled, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." |
