Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once electrocuted the dog with a toaster. My father, as apoplectic as a TV evangelist being audited by the IRS, told me to retrieve the leftover turkey. He then drew me to the dentist office and lectured me on my error in judgement. Even now, I walk with a considerable limp. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to SRS today are the same. DH overwhelming SRS as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match, emasculating them by the tune of 92-84 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. DH leads the all-time series 14-9 against SRS. DH has a 4-0 regular season record. SRS has a 3-1 regular season record. Aaron Rodgers quipped, "How about that offense, huh? Theirs, I mean, not ours. I pulled myself 'cause I didn't want to go in there and make anything worse.Yeah, this is going to be the nature of our team." Matt Flynn stated, "I told the guys that they were going to make a mistake somewhere and when they did it, I pulled up with a 'sore ankle' if ya catch my drift. No sense me gettin' blasted. When we're playing at our best, those mistakes don't happen and tonight definitely wasn't our night." They looked unstoppable on the DH squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 390 points, 272 on offense and 118 on defense. Michael Vick with 52 points on offense and Zoltan Mesko with 15 points on defense were the top scorers. However, they were far from perfect. Said Coach/GM Raman Ohri, "We had a few breakdowns. . For one, Vincent Jackson performed like a spasmodic violinist. That procedure he had a couple weeks back... labotomy, I think Doc said - well, that thing has done wonders for his game. He just stands in there and takes it now - play after play after play. No more of this whining about being too hurt. Doc is brilliant, I say. As for those OST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing 4 Punt return, 15 Punt return yardage, 3.6667 Punt return average, 4 Kickoff returns, 74 Kickoff return yardage, 37 Kickoff return average throughout the course of their pitiful performance. Overall though, the Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. in this game was Mario Manningham. His horrible effort yielded nothing but the scorn of his teammates. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Mario Manningham, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this." John Kasay added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master." There's no love lost between these two clubs. Raman Ohri said, "That owner of theirs kinda reminds me of a Matt Millen and Michael Jackson hybrid... all bluster, melting face, questionable personal tastes... not exactly the kind of person I'd invite to my child's birthday party." In response, the SRS coach whined, "Who? I didn't realize they were still in the league." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||