Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once convinced my cousin to join the circus. My father, as angry as an animal rights activist stumbling into an NRA convention, told me to retrieve a meat cleaver. He then ordered me atop the compost heap and set the embers of my wisdom to flame. To this day, I still wet my pants whenever I think of that memory. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to MHD today are the same. SRS has repelled MHD as though they were an all you can eat buffet residing next to a weight-watcher's clinic, crushing them by the tune of 50-15 in front of a despondent home crowd. SRS leads the all-time series 36-1 against MHD. SRS has a 1-0 regular season record. MHD has a 0-1 regular season record. Russell Wilson said, "How about that offense, huh? Theirs, I mean, not ours. I pulled myself 'cause I didn't want to go in there and make anything worse.Yeah, this is going to be the nature of our team." Tarvaris Jackson droned, "Oh fo real, man. Ya see, I is da real thing. Dose drops, man. Dat weren't my fault, dawg. Th playa wuz trowing too hard and I run the wrong play jus so's he can't find me. No sense me breakin' my assets, man... No sense me making it on 'Jacked Up' or nothin'. No matter... I be back, bro. Expect numba ME to grab up 60 scores this season, yo. Dem otha's, man? I gonna steal the show. They's amateurs spelt wit a capital E." They looked unstoppable on the SRS squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 323 points, 195 on offense and 128 on defense. Aaron Rodgers with 23 points on offense and Eric Berry with 21 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Allen Cummings, "Sure, I'm a bit concerned about a few things.. For one, Matt Flynn kinda languished a bit out there. That procedure he had a couple weeks back... labotomy, I think Doc said - well, that thing has done wonders for his game. He just stands in there and takes it now - play after play after play. No more of this whining about being too hurt. Doc is brilliant, I say. As for those NT? They showed their ineptitude by amassing absolutely nothing while taking the day off. Overall though, the team goat in this game was Jonathan Grimes. His nasty effort yielded a resigned sigh from his teammates. In the end, these men are kinda like my kids. As any parent knows, from time to time, you just can't always get through to them without getting creative..." Says Jonathan Grimes, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this." Dwayne Gratz added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master." Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Allen Cummings droned, "Sheesh... just mentioning their scaly hides makes me feel very unclean. They're wretched, infantile little sewer rats and I don't want to get dragged into a discussion about them. Any other questions? I need to bathe." In response, the MHD coach shot, "Who? I didn't realize they were still in the league." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||