Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) When I was a young lad, I once gave my brother's coin collection to a pair of destitute carnies. My father, as unhappy as a politician running for re-election while in the midst of another scandal, told me to retrieve a meat cleaver. He then pulled me atop the compost heap and pummeled me within inches of my life. Even now, twenty-six years later, the terror of that day lives on. I bring this up because the similarities between what happened to me then and what happened to PC today are the same. AW has publically emasculated PC as though the unfortunate loser were a snail dropped in a jar of saline solution, crushing them by the tune of 55-40 in front of a despondent home crowd. AW leads the all-time series 13-10 against PC. AW has a 1-0 regular season record. PC has a 0-1 regular season record. Derek Anderson stated, "Our defense was stout - I mean, golly. Have you ever seen such an effort? I mean, except for those breakdowns that led to all those scores. For at least half of the plays, we were great though. It's something to build on is all I'm getting at." Ka'Deem Carey blathered, "I told the guys that they were going to make a mistake somewhere and when they did it, I pulled up with a 'sore ankle' if ya catch my drift. No sense me gettin' blasted. When we're playing at our best, those mistakes don't happen and tonight definitely wasn't our night." They were almost perfect on the AW squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 320 points, 213 on offense and 107 on defense. Drew Brees with 35 points on offense and Bobby Wagner with 14 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Tim Shoemaker, "We have to get a lot better next week.. For one, Jimmy Smith played about as well as a frog pithed by an epileptic first-grader. I've been working with Doc on a revolutionary new procedure... I won't go into the full details right now, but let's just say that he won't have an any excuse for dropping the damned ball anymore. As for those DST? They showed all the football grace of ballerinas as they filled the record book with 1 Punt returns defended, 6 Defended punt return yardage, 6 Defended punt return average, 2 Defended kickoff returns, 51 Defended kickoff return yardage, 25.5 Defended kickoff return average while taking the day off. Overall though, the Don't Euthanize After Disaster award - given to one blundering fool each week - was really difficult to decide on this go around. I promise the poor slob that I won't be taking away his livelihood. This week, the DEAD man in this game was Corey Washington. His horrible effort yielded nothing but the scorn of his teammates. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..." Says Corey Washington, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Geno Atkins added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Tim Shoemaker quipped, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." In response, the PC coach gurgled, "Who? Do they even play professional football?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||