Boxscore
| Game Summary (Earl Schmidt, NetFL Press) I get paid very well doing something I usually enjoy. There are, however, occasional games that I only report on under silent protest. Let me begin by being brutally honest. SC is quite the hideous team, wholly outclassed in all aspects of the game by MHD. hideous. That word does not even begin to describe the game I saw today. Despite the ambient weather, I found myself looking upon the cold, dark, windswept gridiron of my soul, agonizing for three gut-wrenching hours as my eyes were forced to witness the utter lack of skill exhibited by SC on this particular day. By the end of the opening kickoff, I could already feel the nausea, the lurching in my stomach. By the end of the first quarter, I began to contemplate gnawing off my own leg to escape. My tears flowed as freely as the cheap beer consumed by the semi-sentients surrounding me, not for the defeated, but for the death of all that I thought was good and pure about football. Julio Jones droned, "They came at us with some tough schemes, but we were able to put a few decent plays together. I think we can move the ball against anyone, stop anyone and we just didn't execute today." Roberto Garza stated, 'There's really no way that you can shut them down.We had to resort to some... dubious tactics to stay in the game at all. You don't want to see anyone get hurt seriously, but this defense of ours is different. We're coming to hit, we're coming to hurt. When we get the chance to deliver the punch, we are going to try to knock people out... now if only our opponents occasionally noticed, eh?" MHD has beaten SC like a bloated spider engorging on the tender underbelly of a common house fly, whipping them by the tune of 40-0 in front of a despondent home crowd. MHD trails the all-time series 15-21 against SC. MHD has a 1-1 regular season record. SC has a 1-1 regular season record. They looked unstoppable on the MHD squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 315 points, 176 on offense and 139 on defense. Russell Wilson with 30 points on offense and Tashaun Gipson with 21 points on defense were the top scorers. Things were not all roses, however. Said Coach/GM Chip Riggs, "There were some mental breakdowns on both sides of the ball.. For one, Aaron Williams was as sharp as a sponge today. I've been working with Doc on a revolutionary new procedure... I won't go into the full details right now, but let's just say that he won't have an any excuse for dropping the damned ball anymore. As for those OST? They showed their ineptitude by amassing 7 Punt return, 72 Punt return yardage, 10.286 Punt return average, 1 Kickoff returns throughout the course of their pitiful performance. Overall though, the the most incompetant player in this game was Osi Umenyiora. Though the game was already decided on the field, apparently neither team was done. Chip Riggs stated, "Oh, they're harmless... a bit annoying too, I guess... Kinda remind me of Barney or Big Bird..." In response, the SC coach considered this when he said, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||