Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Peyton Manning blathered, "At least we weren't as bad as those '02 Flathead Cats... Yo, I'm trying to put a positive spin on this if you catch my drift. Gosh... we're hopeless." Well no kidding, Einstein. TB was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. If Peyton Manning's body of work exemplifies the high-point of your weekend, you know that you're on the losing end of a sordid, sick joke of a game. Words utterly fail to describe this romp into the realms of ineptitude. When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Standing here in the garish, filth-ridden stands of this now-empty stadium after the game, I got to thinking - such is truly the fate of both fans of the TB squad. In the end, this team is just hopeless. So now the series stands KIR trails the all-time series 6-7 against TB. KIR has a 2-0 regular season record. TB has a 0-2 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw KIR has decaffeinated TB as though they were palace eunuchs in a wrestling match 59-40 in front of a despondent home crowd. They were almost perfect on the KIR squad particularly on the offensive side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 299 points, 215 on offense and 84 on defense. Kirk Cousins with 38 points on offense and Dont'a Hightower with 15 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. of the game goes to Kyle Orton. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..." Says Kyle Orton, dragging around a cart full of dirty laundry, "Coach says he'll find a use for me in this system if it kills us both. Yo, just gimme a little slack, man. But this, goin' from starter not even to the bench... I'm bein' disrespected!" Lawrence Timmons added, "I ain't sayin' nothin'... OK, maybe just a little. Dude's even worse here than on the field. Starching everyone's straps? Using so much bleach it dissolves the danged cotton? I'm almost at the point where I want to go into Coach's doghouse just so I can get some properly handled laundry!" "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Kevin Snyder stated, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." In response, the TB coach gurgled, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||