Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Peyton Manning blathered, "To say that we stunk would be unfair to skunks and unwashed monks, man. We were awful today! Do you see us getting any better in time for the next game, 'cause I sure don't. The guys played with no fire, the coaching was flat, and the playcalling was atrocious. Our execution? Yeah, I'm for it." Well no kidding, Einstein. TB was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. revolting. That word does not even begin to describe the game I saw today. Despite the ambient weather, I found myself looking upon the cold, dark, windswept gridiron of my soul, agonizing for three gut-wrenching hours as my eyes were forced to witness the utter lack of skill exhibited by TB on this particular day. By the end of the opening kickoff, I could already feel the nausea, the lurching in my stomach. By the end of the first quarter, I began to contemplate gnawing off my own leg to escape. My tears flowed as freely as the cheap beer consumed by the semi-sentients surrounding me, not for the defeated, but for the death of all that I thought was good and pure about football. So now the series stands TH trails the all-time series 16-23 against TB. TH has a 2-1 regular season record. TB has a 0-3 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw TH has senselessly deluged TB as though they were horses being sent to the glue factory 57-21 in front of a despondent home crowd. They looked unstoppable on the TH squad on both sides of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 354 points, 207 on offense and 147 on defense. Andrew Luck with 67 points on offense and Pat McAfee with 27 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. of the game goes to Josh McCown. Some players need a bit more instruction than others. I've tried a few less orthodox teaching tools from time to time..." Says Josh McCown, pouring out of a far-too-tight yellow bikini, "I have nothing to say about this." Russell Okung added, "Words fail me... got it? I ain't had a single night's sleep since coach made that call last Monday, man. I keep waking up screaming. I mean dang, man... time to put some time on the thigh-master." There's no love lost between these two clubs. David Markfield stated, "Gosh... why are you even wasting my time looking for a comment about them? They're kinda like cockroaches - to be sure, they occasionally crawl out of the woodwork to be seen by all, but usually, they're lurking somewhere out of sight." In response, the TB coach blathered, "Like 'em? No... not really. I'd rather strangle puppies in front of a dozen orphans than pull that wretched owner of theirs out of a burning building." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||