Boxscore
| Game Summary (Ralph Jones, NetFL Press) Drew Stanton stated, "Our defense was stout - I mean, golly. Have you ever seen such an effort? I mean, except for those breakdowns that led to all those scores. For at least half of the plays, we were great though. It's something to build on is all I'm getting at." Well no kidding, Einstein. TSI was bad. Awful. Grotesque. An embarrassment to the league, I dare say. OK, so not everyone who wears the uniform should be allowed to suit up. Such is most certainly the case for Dan Orlovsky, the greatest goat this side of the fairytale land of satyrs, unicorns, pixies, and winning TSI seasons. This journalist found himself maintaining sanity amidst the botched stumbling of Drew Stanton and his sidekicks by drinking heavily and choking down moldy peanuts. Now, to TSI's credit, they willingly subjected themselves to this game, knowing full well how it was likely to turn out, but I place a great deal of blame on KIR for opting for this game over a likely more challenging foray against the Vienna Boy's Choir. So now the series stands KIR trails the all-time series 6-7 against TSI. KIR has a 3-0 regular season record. TSI has a 1-2 regular season record. The latest (what I shall laughingly call a) contest saw KIR bludgeoning TSI as though they were horses being sent to the glue factory 29-26 in front of a jeering and hostile crowd. Things went very well for the KIR squad even though they did not excel on either side of the ball last week as they racked up a combined 295 points, 171 on offense and 124 on defense. Kirk Cousins with 47 points on offense and Bruce Carter with 25 points on defense were the top scorers. All that aside, Doc's been looking into a revolutionary new surgery - replace his hands with anything - stickum, chicken claws, even bricks would be an improvement. I mean, he drops balls as if they were live ferrets. of the game goes to Kyle Orton. I've come up with a motivational plan for every player I deem to be failing to live up to their potential..." Says Kyle Orton, sporting a nice lace evening gown, "Ya, coach says I played like a little girl so I might as well dress the part. I hafta practice in this thing. He calls me the fairy princess. Man, I'm callin my agent. This ain't parta the deal." Kyle Orton added, "Shoot... he should know he can't fit in no D-cup! I tell ya, he looked like some sort of demented, bloated Valkyrie... Man... brings new meaning to the phrase 'when the fat lady sings.' " "Dem's fightin' woids!": Fuel was added to the fire during the two teams' post game news conferences. Kevin Snyder whined, "I feel kinda sorry for them, to be honest. I mean, how can you be that inept, that pitiable? I guess they occasionally get my blood flowing, but for the most part, playing them is about as exciting as rearranging my sock drawer." In response, the TSI coach noted, "Let's see... something nice to say? Well, they're not the most repugnant team out there, but that's kinda like saying that Shockey isn't as annoying as that Owens clown." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||